Your Dating & Relationship Rules

 

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Valentine’s Day – A celebration of Love.

Luckily I celebrate Love quite often, not just in February.

But I do use this time to acknowledge how much better love feels these days.

I’m feeling grateful for changes in my love life.

I’m thankful for not repeating past mistakes (anymore).

I’m looking back and realizing how sweet it is being in my feminine power.

It wasn’t easy. It took dedication and a willingness to change.

From this change I created a list of Personal Love Rules.
love rules

I invite you to put together a set of rules about how you’ll interact in relationships and/or dating.

Your Personal Love Rules.

These are rules for yourself only.

You can change or adjust them at any time and for any reason.

These rules are specifically about you
They ‘re based on what works for you, what you like and what you don’t like.

They’re based on your dating or relationship style and the type of love relationship you want.

These rules develop from deal breaker situations, red flags and other experiences with men.

 

Here’s An Example Of Some Of My Love Rules:

– No old (masculine) relationship or dating habits

– No expectations of anyone but myself

– I won’t drive to meet a date

– I won’t take phone calls from a man after midnight

– I Always have a “Plan B” so that I don’t feel “stuck” or let down

– I Keep time in my schedule (at least every two months) for good friends and family

– I stick to Sexual Exclusivity (and a man who’s honestly capable of it)

– I require at least 48 hours notice for a date. ย In a relationship I’m spontaneous (depending on how I feel)

– I Express my feelings regularly (nothing gets shut up or hidden)

– I Listen closely when he speaks

– I Lean Back

– I Don’t Initiate

– I Don’t tolerate (instead I step back or walk away)

– I Never attack (verbally or emotionally)

– I Know my ultimate relationship goals and desires and I don’t abandon them

– I Know what my needs are and make sure they’re met

 

My list has taken some time to put together.

I’ve been working on it for about five years now.

The most important thing is that it represents my truth and my love style.

 

NOTE: You can’t search the web and come up with your love rules. ย 

They’ve got to be personally developed and specific to your needs and life.

And they affect you directly, never directed at a man.

What’s going on your list?

Love,

Tatia

 

 

4 Comments

  1. Yvette on March 7, 2015 at 9:50 am

    Hello Tatia
    I really enjoyed reading this article, it’s bookmarked very high up on my resource list. ๐Ÿ™‚
    I felt very drawn to one of the items on your boundaries list:
    “I Know my ultimate relationship goals and desires and I donโ€™t abandon them”
    I was wondering if you might have any advice for getting clearer on what our ultimate relationship vision.

    I have explored Rori’s ‘Visualise your Ideal Relationship’ in her book. I tried it, numerous time and I ended up feeling frustrated and strained.
    I’d like to feel excited, powered up and gorgeous about it.
    I’d like to feel clearer about what I’m aiming for, to have a feeling soaked vision supporting me like a supercharged anchor! ๐Ÿ˜›

    What would you suggest to a gal who’s feeling more optimistic, empowered and excited than ever before about her romantic life, but sitting and trying to piece together an ideal day drives her up the wall?
    Is there anything you might suggest to help? Or any other ideas all together?

    Again, thank you for your post Tatia, I swear, reading your stuff keeps me on point. ๐Ÿ™‚
    Yvette

    • Tatia on March 7, 2015 at 3:52 pm

      Hi Yvette:
      I feel so bubbly knowing my articles are helpful! Thank you so much for such a sweet comment ๐Ÿ˜€
      To Answer Your Question:
      I get you on having a hard time visualizing. It’s not easy and takes practice. Here’s a good approach for you to try:

      (1) Think of a time in your life experiences that just made you glow and shine.
      What were you doing?
      Who were you with?
      What was the awesome feeling you experienced?

      (2) Think of a similar experience in a relationship that made you glow and shine.
      What were you doing?
      What was the awesome feeling you experienced?

      (3) Think of a goal or vacation dream that you’ve always desired.
      Close your eyes and picture that you are there.
      What does it feel like?
      What are you doing?

      NOW, LET’S TRY TO IMAGINE A DAY IN YOUR IDEAL RELATIONSHIP:
      (I can’t go into too many details because this is a portion of
      Rori Raye’s book “>Have The Relationship You Want”)

      (1) I always start with a particular time of day. Not the whole day. Breakfast, Lunch Or Dinner are the easiest points of reference. I always start with a weekend morning.
      (2) The point of this exercise is to FEEL what you envision. The flowers, the breeze, the smell of coffee (or food, or his cologne, etc.), the sounds. The point is to GO THERE and BE THERE.
      (3) Sometimes it’s helpful to start with an experience you’ve had. An easy Sunday morning works great for me. So does a Saturday afternoon.
      (4) What Rori is getting at is what is a heart felt routine you would experience in the kind of relationship you want. It could be something as simple as waking up and talking to each other.

      Try this approach and let me know how it works for you.

      THE ROWBOAT & LEANING BACK
      During our coaching session (check your email) we can practice the rowboat tool. The Rowboat Tool This is about allowing a man to do the work of getting you to the type of relationship you want. Before he can get you there, you’ve got to know what it is that you want! This is where my boundary list, and needs list come in to play. We can do deeper during your coaching session, but your needs list is about what are you needs and how are they met. There are three ways to meet your needs: you can get them met, one man can meet them, and you can get your needs met out in the world. The point here is to know what YOUR needs are.

      So, if you know what your needs are, you know what your boundaries are, you know what you enjoy doing, you know what makes you feel wonderful, and you know the kind or relationship that you want, then you KNOW YOURSELF. You can now allow a man to get to know you, and you can lean back and respond to him expressing your feelings, desires and what you don’t want!

      I know I squished that all into a short post, but I promise, I’ll go into greater detail to explain it if you want me to during our coaching session.

      Love,

      Tatia

  2. Yvette on March 8, 2015 at 12:47 pm

    Hi Tatia!
    Wow! Every time I have commented on your articles with a question I look forward to your response and I always feel so rewarded and flattered.
    Thank you for your responses and for making me feel encouraged and safe to participate.

    Your suggestions sound great, I’ll give them a go! Even simply to read it feels better for it to be spaced out, it feels gentler to me, wonderful ๐Ÿ™‚

    I loved what you said about needs! I feel so excited by the subject! All of me lit up reading your last few paragraphs.
    I really want to explore this.
    Is exploring and discovering our needs something we could work with in a coaching session?

    Thanks again Tatia ๐Ÿ™‚
    Warm Wishes,
    Yvette

    • Tatia on March 9, 2015 at 6:18 pm

      Hi Yvette:
      Yes, absolutely! We can work on that during your coaching session!

      Love,

      Tatia

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