Dating After Divorce Or A Break Up

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Ease Your Way Back Into Dating

It can feel scary to start dating after a break up or divorce.

There are a lot of thing going through your mind:

The bars, clubs and online scene feel like meat markets.
The men who are interested in you all seem to be looking to get laid.
Or maybe most of them are broke and expecting for you to pay.

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Or maybe you can’t always get a reliable babysitter.
You’re working more now that you’re on your own and you feel there’s no time in your schedule to “go out.”
You would go out but you’re used to having someone with you .
Or the granddaddy of all issues . . .
You thought that the “search” was over.

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 I know how it feels.  I dreaded the idea of dating again and at the same time feared the thought of making the same kind of relationship mistakes again  . . . or worse . . . being alone/unhappy/with-the-wrong-person forever.

So you’ve decided that despite your fears, you’ve got to “get back out there again.”  Good for you!

Maybe you’ve put up an online dating profile and have gone out a few times . . . but no one really interests you . . .  or you’ve started to see a pattern in the men you attract (or are attracted to).

Since you’re reading this article, I know that you are ready to improve your relationship situation.

 

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You want a different and better relationship experience!

Here’s one bit of advice that will help you get started towards having a new and better relationship  . . .

 

 

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Easing Your Way Back Into Dating Helps You To Discover Your Old Relationship Patterns And To Develop A New Way To Love (And Be Loved).

Easing your way back into dating is about starting small.  Taking baby steps.

The first step is to take good care of yourself.  Keep your focus on you and what you enjoy.  Embrace and experience being feminine, just for yourself (not to impress a man).

 

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The next step is to start noticing the men who are noticing you.  When you go to the market, the cleaners, the mall, the kids’ school and even when you’re commuting to work.  This step isn’t about flirting.  It’s only about noticing, and feeling your response to that attention.  Allowing yourself to develop a pattern of receiving instead of always giving.

 

 

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The third step to easing your way back into dating is changing how you interact with men who are interested in you.  This is about being in your feminine energy instead of your masculine energy when interacting with a man.  It’s about Leaning Back and stopping your old relationship habits and patterns.  Let these men show their interest in you.  Be curious about them instead of feeling judgmental or turned off.

And if you’re interested, just smile and hold eye contact (for at least 3-5 seconds).  Let him ask for your number, and when he calls you, keep the conversation short.  No more than 15 minutes.  The point is to get to know each other face-to-face (social distancing, of course), not over the phone and via texting.  If your interactions with him linger in the telephone/texting phase, then release the feeling of anticipation and applaud yourself for opening up and allowing yourself to experience interacting with them . . . and then move him further out of your rotation (a circular dating coaching term).

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The fourth step is spending time with men.  This is not always about going out on a date.  Spending time with men is about experiencing the moments focusing on yourself and your feelings while interacting with a man.  This keeps you present and helps you slow down the pace.

Finally, pay attention to the changes you experience.  Make note of the old patterns that don’t fit any more with your new approach.  And then continue to ease your way back into dating.

Join the ACADEMY for more feminine energy dating practices

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Love,

Tatia

 

 

 

 

 

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