Do You Need To Fix Your Man Picker?

Are you unhappy in your current love situation?
Do you seem to pick the same type of man?
Do you have many first dates but rarely get second dates?
Then consider asking yourself this soul-baring question . . .

Circular dating dating game men

Why Did I Choose Him?

 

WAS IT HIS TAKE-CHARGE ATTITUDE (NOW DOMINATION)?

circular dating fix your man picker

 

 

HIS MELLOWNESS? (NOW ROMANTIC DISINTEREST)

circular dating to avoid leaning forward with a man

 

 

HIS STRONG ATTRACTRACTION TO YOU? (NOW IT’S STIL JUST SEX)

circular dating and his emotional attraction to you

 

 

HIS OUTGOING NATURE? (NOW DISAPPEARING or PULLING AWAY)

circular dating to avoid relationship red flags

 

 

HIS STRONG SILENT NATURE? (NOW BAD COMMUNICATION)

circular dating man-picker avoiding bad communication

 

 

HIS WANTING YOU TO TAKE THE LEAD? (NOW CODEPENDANCY)

circular dating to avoid leaning forward co-dependency

 

 

HIS LOVING TO PARTY? (NOW ALCOHOL OR SUBSTANCE ISSUES)

circular dating man-picker avoid

 

 

HIS POSSESSIVENESS? (NOW SIGNS OF ABUSIVENESS)

circular dating man-picker avoid toxic

 

Whether you habitually attract this kind of man

or if it’s sometimes a case of bate and switch,

the truth is

that even if you didn’t

knowingly “pick” the situation,

you accepted him and his ways.

 

I believe this is more of an issue of self-awareness than having a broken man-picker.

I’m talking about awareness of the kind of love you want and awareness of what makes you happy.

It’s the lack of this awareness that causes a woman to accept a man who’s wrong for her.

 

HOW TO FIX THIS . . .

feminine energy woman pause to fix man-picker

PAUSE

Let me walk you through this exercise . . .

1.  PAUSE.

Stop everything you’re doing in your relationship.

Rather than focus on the future or rehash the past,
Exist in the present moment and focus only on yourself.

What do you feel right now?

Are you
Sad
Confused
Mad
Unhappy
or something else?

 

Now, without thinking about him (or including him in the answer), Ask yourself
WHAT WOULD MAKE ME HAPPY?
Am I satisfied?
What do I truly want to experience in a relationship?

 

Now, staying in this moment, ask yourself
WHAT AM I ACCEPTING FROM THIS MAN THAT MAKES ME UNHAPPY?
Is this what I honestly want in a relationship?
Why have I been accepting this behavior?

 

Your answers may be all over the place and coming from different directions.
That’s okay.

Finally, in this moment, I’d like you to focus on just one word . . .
SATISFACTION

Are you satisfied with yourself?

Are you satisfied with your life?

Why not?

When you’re satisfied with yourself,
you’re not relying on a relationship to make you happy.
Instead, you’re enjoying the happiness that a relationship brings you.

So in accepting this man and his style of love, perhaps you were seeking satisfaction in some kind of way?

Okay, let’s turn that around NOW.

 

 

2. Change
feminine energy woman man picker change your story

Now that we understand that satisfaction is an issue, let’s change our personal love story.
Re-write how you want your love life to be.
What do you want to feel?
How do you want to be treated?
You deserve to be happy.
You deserve to be treated in a way that feels good to you.
Commit to yourself, what satisfies you and accept nothing less.
(You’ll be tempted to think into the future, but don’t, stay present in this moment.)

 

3. Self Love First
femininine energy woman self love first man-picker

Do you treat yourself like a person you’re totally in love with?
Do you take the time to care for your body, heart and soul?
Are you totally committed to yourself?
Do you love yourself and show it?

 

4. Know Your Relationship Needs
feminine energy woman know your relationship needs man-picker

Write down what you need in a relationship.
Now read this list over to yourself.
Do the items on this list make you feel good?
Are you willing to stick to this list and not settle for less?
Are you dedicated enough to speak up and share what your needs are with your partner?

 

5. Do what you love

feminine energy woman do what you love

Sometimes we get so consumed with our relationship that we forget about the other parts of our lives.
Our lives become lop-sided and out of balance because so much energy goes into interacting with a man.
What about the other things you enjoy in life?
When was the last time you’ve done something that you LOVE doing?
Plan to do something that you love doing in the next 24 hours.

 

6. Focus on you

feminine energy woman focus on you

This is all about ME TIME.
Unplug for an hour or two.
Push all of the thinking and doing aside for just a little while.
Spend some time pampering yourself.
And make this a weekly (or daily) habit, just for an hour or two.

 

7. Feel your feelings

feminine energy woman feel your feelings

Go deep on this one.
Be honest with yourself about what you feel.
See if you can notice what part of your body is tightening up or aching because of this feeling.
Loosen up that part of your body.
Now, go back to the emotions you’re feeling at this very moment.
Write them down – even if you feel “nothing” (like numb).
Do this exercise daily.

 

8. Get out of your head and feel before you speak

Feminine energy woman feel before you speak

So often we speak from our thoughts, suspicions and self-imposed scenarios.
Using the feelings from the prior exercise, try saying what you FEEL rather than what you think.
It’s okay to say “I feel ______” or “I felt _______.”
Practice this daily.

 

9. Speak your feelings

feminine energy woman speak your feelings

This is taking the prior exercise to the next level.
Speaking your feelings is sharing your feminine on a more regular basis.
It’s also being 100% in touch with your feminine.
You’ll learn so much more about your truth when you practice speaking your feelings.
Give it a try.

 

10. Let go of the outcome

feminine energy woman let go of the outcome

Here’s a major part of changing what you accept from a man.
Avoid anticipating and expecting ANYTHING from him.
Lean back and observe his actions.
Let him move the relationship along and see how what he does (or doesn’t do) feels to you.
Then ask yourself
“Is this feeling what I want?”
“Is this how I want to be treated?”
“Is this the kind of Love I want to feel?”
If any of your answers to these questions is in the negative, then ask yourself
“WHY AM I ACCEPTING THIS?”

 

11. Stay Positive

feminine energy woman stay positive

Speaking of negative . . . avoid it.
Find what feeds you positive energy and experience it more.
Avoid what exposes you to the negative.
This practice goes a long way in helping you stay in your feminine energy.

 

 

NOW LET’S TALK ABOUT HIM BRIEFLY

The purpose of the above exercises is not necessarily to kick him to the curb.

You have some soul searching to do with all the questions and practices I’ve given you.

When you pause, and practice all of the steps above, You’re creating a safe space.

 

This is a safe space for both you and him!

You’re stopping the “doing” and “thinking” and “pining” in the relationship.

You’re not judging him or blaming him.

Instead, you’re going within yourself to discover your honest wants and desires.

You’re reclaiming your individuality from the relationship.

You’re embracing your deliciousness as a woman and realizing that you’re not stuck in this situation.

Your life is not stuck in this situation.

 

And the best part is that you can still show him tenderness (this is complete feminine energy at work).

Appreciate what he does for you that makes you feel good.

Share that with him.

Speak your feminine.

Speak your feelings to him.

Share your true feelings with him,

and then PAUSE, starting the above exercises again.

 

I hope this exercise helped.

If you want to explore more about changing your Love story, then

join the ACADEMY for more feminine energy dating practices in a private online webinar coaching series

academy for femineine energy woman to fix man-picker

Love,

Tatia

 

 

Circular dating guide for feminine woman

 

 

 

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