Don’t Do’s in A Relationship


Here is a list of “Don’t Do’s” that will guarantee that you stay in your Feminine Power when dealing with a man:


(a) don’t try to control him;

(b) don’t try to control the situation or the outcome;

(c) don’t criticize him;

(d) don’t advise him (unless he asks);

(e) don’t judge him;

(f) don’t warn him;

(g) don’t coax him;

(h) don’t make suggestions to him;

(i) don’t complain;

(j) don’t pry;

(k) don’t use the word “you” when talking to him;

(l) accept that as his answer (for now); and

(m) don’t explain.


Print this list out and keep it in your purse. These are boundaries for you and about you, not about a man. These are your bottom line in making sure you stay in your Feminine Energy and not slip back into any old patterns.

This list of “Don’t Do’s” allows you to be aware of yourself while being present when you’re with a man. Being present simply means that you’re not in your head, but instead you’re there in moment with him. Feeling what you feel, feeling your feelings in response to what he says and does . . . just being!

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  1. G Spot on August 23, 2014 at 4:41 pm

    A couple of these I must work on
    I already created a pattern prior to reading this

    • Tatia on August 23, 2014 at 6:12 pm

      That’s great!

  2. Tee on January 23, 2015 at 11:45 am

    Ok so what do you do with the anger? If he does something that is upsetting to you? If you’re pretty sure he knows it’s upsetting yet it still happens?

    I know that this is about redirecting my focus to make it more about me and less about him but I feel triggered.

    It’s like, if I know something upsets someone that I care about. ..I would make an effort to stop doing it. I don’t feel I’m getting that same level of courtesy and it makes me feel unimportant. My anger comes from feeling that I’m not as important to him as whatever bs he finds himself involved in from time to time.

    I feel conflicted because his words aren’t always in sync with his actions. I feel like I make excuses for him and I feel like I cant tell the difference between emotional growth and just rolling over and accepting his actions because I’m a doormat :/

    • Tatia on January 28, 2015 at 9:19 pm

      Hi Tee:

      Focusing on your feelings, and processing them, and using your power of movement (leaning back, stepping back & walking away) are how you keep this about you and not about him. It’s YOU who is changing. You can’t change or control him, so we keep the awareness on our own changing, growth and healing. Our changing is what can inspire him to change.



  3. Tee on January 23, 2015 at 4:19 pm

    Re-reading this list. This is hard.
    I feel like I might spend alot of time being quiet around him lol which is sad because it makes me realize how little I actually talk to him, enjoy him, as opposed to trying to nudge him this way or that way….judging him, being pissed over his latest no-no! Ugh!

    • Tatia on January 28, 2015 at 9:16 pm

      Hi Tee:

      A good way to approach it is Awareness: to keep your focus on yourself when you’re sticking to the Don’t Do List.



  4. Tatia on September 18, 2015 at 11:04 pm

    Hi Zola!

    “Don’t Question” is a fabulous addition to the Don’t do list!
    It may also come under “don’t ask the innocent question.”
    It’s leaning forward.
    It’s seeking something from him instead of RECEIVING.
    It’s initiating.

    And We’ve all made this mistake before!
    The idea is to stop right here and now, in this minute, and turn it all around.
    Call a friend . . . do something you enjoy . . . allow yourself to receive from someone else . . . Keep your own schedule!

    Let me know how this works!



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