Experiencing A Good Man

he listens

He’s not perfect.

He’s human.

And he’s totally into you.

You like him.

You enjoy the attention.

You know he’s a great person.

But somewhere in your head you hear “he’s just not it.”

Young couple in cafe, woman ignoring man

Are you ready to change this pattern?


Start by admitting that you keep thinking, Thinking, THINKING . . .

“He’s not ______ enough.”

“He’s too ______.”

“If only he wouldn’t _______.”

“If only he could _______.”


Whether you realize it it or not, you’re repeating a masculine leaning forward pattern.

And soon, this pattern may likely push him away.

He’ll eventually accept your vibe that he’s just not “it” . . .

And so will the next good guy.



Whether  he’s the one or not.

You deserve to experience the benefits of leaning back with a good man.

being triggered 9


He’s likely to ask questions to understand you better (and remembers your answers)

  • he has manners and may strive to be a gentleman
  • he believes in your goals, inspires and supports you
  • he has goals of his own, a decent work ethic as well as a purpose in his life
  • he’s not abusive or rude
  • he’s emotionally mature, meaning he works through his problems and doesn’t let situations overcome or define him . . .

But remember . . . he’s still human.

Male bodybuilder posing

Leaning back with a good man allows you to seek the depths of your feminine power.

He’s the right kind of man to share the richest warmest feeling you can reach within yourself.

It can be reeling, but it’s totally worth it.

emotional attraction2

The key is keeping your expectations in check!

You can never reach the heights of feminine power  until you experience totally leaning back.

This means letting go of your hidden masculine responses.

It means letting go of your fixed ideas of relationship.

Letting go of your preconceived notion of the perfect man.

It means allowing a man to be human.


First things First:

let him contact you


It’s easy to do.

When he does something wrong.

You’re angry.

You’re disappointed.

You’re all in your head.

Try taking a different approach.

Take an approach of acceptance.

Accept him as he is, with all his flaws.


Secondly . . .



He is entitled to be who and how he is.

Accept him.

Whatever is welling up in your head is all about YOU.

It’s your stuff, not his.

There’s something icky going on INSIDE OF YOU.

See this trigger for what it is.

And then get the heck out of your head!

Avoid the urge to project your feelings onto him.

Instead, deal with your dissatisfaction, unhappiness and anything else you’re feeling.

Take a detour from criticism.


Finally . . .

complete within


This next step of the process will take you deeper and lead you to the truth of your masculine urges to criticize and judge a man.


1. Write out your feelings. All of them, mad, glad, sad, angry, furious – whatever it is you’re feeling.

Each time you start to think of anything, pay attention to how you’re feeling at that moment, and write it down.


2. When you can’t stop thinking about what he’s done to trigger you, try your hardest to focus on yourself.  Go within and feel your feelings instead of being stuck in your head.

Write down exactly what you’re feeling, and then focus on something else good about yourself, and something that you like to do.


3. Practice being in your Feminine Power every time you are with him or communicating with him.

This is simply shifting out of your head into your feelings.


4. Enjoy the attention from other men who are noticing and admiring you . . . even if from a distance.

Allow yourself to lean back and glow in this awareness.


5. Schedule A Little Quiet Time and read over all of the feelings you’ve written down in your journal or notebook.

Take three of your strongest feelings and put them together into a few short sentences.  What does that feel like to experience the words of such powerful feelings within you?


6. Keep journaling your deepest feelings, focusing on yourself and practicing leaning back into experiencing and exploring these feelings instead of criticizing or judging him.

You’ll soon notice that a good type of man will feel curious about what you’re experiencing.  He’ll want to get closer.  He’ll become intrigued. And you’ll already have the feeling words to share the wondrous current of feelings stirring inside of you.

Keep turning within and sharing your warmth.


Learn More . . . 

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  1. Cleo on April 1, 2017 at 7:18 am

    What an AWESOME article Tatia.
    I am guilty of this! I criticize(in my head!) the men that approach me aaaaaaall the time.

    I had started feeling doomed to be with toxic guys ,because I criticize them less in my head!!

    Thank you SO VERY MUCH for sharing this!!

    You are so great!!

    • Tatia on April 2, 2017 at 5:41 pm

      Hi Cleo:

      Thank you for your lovely comment.
      We’ve all been there, and it’s a beautiful thing to be able to ease away from an old love pattern.
      Enjoy what’s next . . . You’re going to love where your Feminine Power takes you from here!

      With Much Love,


  2. Elle on December 20, 2017 at 6:12 pm

    Wow. Quite a powerful article here, and I can see how that would transform his view of me. It sounds so hard, though! When my rational mind is screaming that he is doing it wrong and I can help

  3. Tatia on December 21, 2017 at 9:18 pm

    Hi Elle:

    Yes, I totally get what you mean about your mind screaming he’s not doing it right, lol.
    The key is to realize that your thoughts are the MASCULINE part of you.
    Our goal is to let your Feminine (feelings, softness, creativity, genuineness, etc.) guide your words and actions with him.
    It’s easy to do when you
    Lean back
    Open your heart and
    Know your Boundaries.

  4. Marie on April 13, 2023 at 10:50 am

    Morning and thanks for this article!

    When you say to “Take three of your strongest feelings and put them together into a few short sentences”. You mean in one statement?
    After reading over last night’s journal entry, my strongest words were: Hate; Doubt; Obsession and Confident.

    I HATE that I feel so OBSESSED over you and have DOUBTS that you feel the same way but I am CONFIDENT that everything will work out for the best one way or another.

    Tatia, is that the right idea of the instructions above? Or do you mean using each word individually in 3 separate sentences?

    Thanks again!

    • Tatia on April 15, 2023 at 10:12 am

      Hi Marie:

      This processing of journaling your feeling words is beautiful!!
      The words hate, doubt, obsession and confident reach deeply into what you are experiencing.
      It is excellent that you’re processing this. But let’s go deeper, getting beneath these feelings before putting them together into words to share with him.

      Why? Remember “Avoid the urge to project your feelings onto him. Instead, deal with your dissatisfaction, unhappiness and anything else you’re feeling.” You’ve got to process beneath the negative feelings before sharing them.

      Deep-dive Level 1: So, hating that you feel obsessed and having doubts about how he feels about you may be that you are experiencing strong feelings of a lack of emotional control with yourself and insecure about whether his emotional connection to you is as strong.

      Deep-dive Level 2: “Obsessed” may be a feeling of expectation. The key to dealing with this is enjoying your time together by being in each individual moment you are together rather than focusing on the future or the past. By existing in the present moment you will be able to RECEIVE and feel his attention and connection with you right then and there . . . experience it and enjoy it. Practice this and use the “Pause” if you find it difficult to keep yourself in the present moment.

      INSTEAD of “I hate that I feel so obsessed over you,” say something positive about how he makes you feel. I know this can be difficult . . . Personally, I would say “I feel moved by you” and either play this song for him or read a portion of the lyrics to him. Do you hear the vulnerability, honesty, complexity and deepness of what she’s sharing from her heart?

      Deep-dive Level 3: “Doubts that he feels the same way” may be a feeling of anticipation about his emotional connection to you. This feels like perhaps you are experiencing laser focus on him and/or the relationship. Don’t fall into the trap of beating yourself up over this type of focus . . . it’s natural when you are adjusting to leaning back into your feminine energy. Understanding and recognizing his “emotional attraction” to you will help ease this feeling (click link and be sure to watch the video on that page).

      INSTEAD of “have doubts that you feel the same way,” say something to compliment him about what he said to you (like his sexy tone of voice) or how it felt when he touched your arm, cooked for you or gave you something. This is RESPONDING to the things he does and/or says that shows his emotional attraction to you.

      Finally, I love your feelings of confidence! But the words “that everything will work out for the best one way or another” could likely trigger a man’s ego that something is wrong . . . that HE’s wrong . . . that there’s something about him you don’t like. Check out this MALE EGO video for a deeper dive on this point.

      INSTEAD, say something that you are honestly looking forward to . . . like a movie you are planning to see together or a dinner/lunch/date that’s scheduled. This way, you avoid him feeling like it’s a disguised conversation about ‘where this relationship is going‘ (yes, my love, it is).



      • Marie on April 18, 2023 at 9:47 am

        Thank you Tatia,
        This really did help. I was able to express positive emotions that I was feeling to him, as opposed to going with the negative ones.

        • Tatia on April 21, 2023 at 7:14 pm

          Excellent Marie!!
          My pleasure

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