He’s Lost Interest

he's lost interest and is pulling away

You can sense the subtle change
You can feel that something’s not right
You can tell he’s not feeling the same 

Nooooooooooooooo . . .

He’s Pulling Away

And you’re Tempted to
-get into his head
-figure him out
-understand why he’s acting a certain way
-get him to treat you the way he use to . . .

NOTHING you do brings him closer


Not even
-Asking him what he’s thinking
-Having the “the talk” with him
-Trying to figure out what he likes
-Giving him what you think he wants
-Attempting to fix the situation . . .


REMEMBER, If He’s Pulling Away, Then He’s Not Focused on You or the Relationship Right Now.


Just try the following steps:


Step One – Let him pull away!

feminine energy leaning back when he's lost interest - let him pull away

Remember the Don’t Do List.

feminine energy woman relationship don't do list - don't try to control him

You can’t control another person, you can only control yourself.

He’s entitled to lose interest.

He’s entitled to not spend time with you.

He’s entitled to not show you any attention.

And you don’t have to deal with this kind of treatment.


Listen, there are only three ways to get your needs met:

(1) You can meet your own needs

(2) One man can meet your needs and

(3) You can get your needs met out in the world by more than one person.


Are you getting your needs met in all of the possible ways?

Are you heavily invested (losing yourself) in this one man or relationship?

Are you neglecting to take care of yourself?

Are you forgetting your own worth and value as a beautiful & lovely woman?

Are you focused on him and/or your relationship instead of yourself?

If so, then gently re-focus your existence away from him and the relationship and back to yourself.


Step Two – Find Your Feminine Balance 

feminine energy leaning back woman find your balance when he pulls away and loses interest

Remember the Energy Connection.

Your vibe right now is all towards him.

You’re probably leaning forward in thoughts and actions.

This is where you must focus on yourself more than ever.

Take a break from him and the relationship.

Do things for yourself that you enjoy and that make you happy.

Keep your own schedule.

Spend time with friends and family.

Interact with men out in the world (on-line or by phone works) and enjoy the attention and admiration.


Step Three – Soften Your Words & Actions Towards Him

feminine energy leaning back woman speaking feelings and soft word

Remember to Lean Back.


Get out of your thoughts and beliefs and assumptions about everything.

Explore your feelings.

What do you feel in response to his actions (inaction)?

What do you feel in response to what he says?

Where do you feel these things in your body?

Write down how you feel.

Keep examining these words and your feelings until you’ve completely gone deep into  each one.


Now, what does he do and say that makes you feel good?

What do you find pleasing about him?

These are the feelings you’re going to focus on when you see him or speak with him.

Express your good feeling and appreciation to him.

Keep Leaning back and let him initiate.

He’ll notice the difference.


Step Four – Letting Him Fix The Problem

feminine energy leaning back woman let him fix the problem

Remember the Don’t Do List.

Remember the Energy Connection.

Remember to Lean Back.

Most importantly, remember that you’re the prize!

This is all about you!


Tell him how you feel.

This is where you’re expressing your truth (not what you think, saw, heard, etc.).


Then Ask him:

“What can we do about this?”
“Is There Something I Should Know?”




Step Five – Stay In Your Feelings and Lean Back

leaning back feminine energy woman in relationship

Observe his actions and words.

How does he make you feel?

Does this feel good to you?

Or are you settling?

Are you ready to move on?

It’s at this point that he may start moving towards you again, talking and spending time together.

Whether he moves forward or not, ask yourself:

– Is this situation what I want?

– Is this how I want love to feel?

Is he capable of meeting my relationship needs?



Step Six – Keep the Focus on Your Feminine Leaning Back Energy

Remember to Receive, Pause and then Respond.

focus on your feminine energy by receiving and responding (Click image for article)


Step Seven – Widen Your View

Feminine energy leaning back woman circular dating Circle of Interaction - Your Rotation of Men Rori Raye Method

Remember Interacting With Men.

There are other men out there interested in you and noticing you . . .

Now is the time to widen your view from this one man and notice the others who are noticing you.

You don’t have to talk to them or spend time with them (unless you want to and you’re ready to).

Just notice them for now.


Step Eight – Expand Your Irresistible Feminine Energy

Watch my Free Webinar
7 Steps To Irresistible

(click below to access)


Step Nine – Your Love Transformation 

Once it becomes crystal-clear that
you deserve the love your heart truly desires,
that the secret to lasting love is in living in a delicious feminine way,
then I invite you to transform your love experience by enrolling in the

This private online webinar coaching experience
provides you with love & relationship skills
with guided feminine energy practices.

feminine energy leaning back woman academy
Enhance your feminine radiance,
Practice focusing on what makes you happy
and discover a new path to the Love your heart desires.



Video playlist
feminine energy woman leaning back when he's lost interest video playlist


He's not perfect


  1. Galina on May 6, 2015 at 10:55 pm

    Thank you so much for such a comprehensive guide to fabulous relationships with men!

    • Tatia on May 7, 2015 at 9:59 pm

      Hi Galina:

      Thank you so much. I’m glad you liked this post!



      • Arooj on January 10, 2020 at 5:27 pm

        Hey Tatia!
        First time i visit your page. It i amazing and fabulous and truly helpful too.
        i need your Help? I like one guy. He is so cute. He is one of my friends. He is so loving ad caring. I wanted to make a relationship with him. but he don`t notices me more. i don`t know he likes me or not? but i feel like i am falling in love with him. i don`t know what to do now? i am trying to avoid him i but could not. i feel like, if he does not like me then there is no need of giving much intention to him. but i am so confused.
        please help me ?

        • Tatia on January 11, 2020 at 11:25 am

          Hi Arooj:

          Your situation is a little different than his “losing” interest . . . you are wondering “if he’s interested.”

          The first thing you may be experiencing is LASER FOCUS on him

          Even if you are not looking/calling/speaking with him, he can FEEL this inner energy you have towards him (maybe he does not clearly understand it, but he can feel it).

          This laser focus energy can push him away (scare him off) before anything even gets started!

          The most important thing for you to do now is change your energy about him.
          This is leaning back.

          You want to give him an opportunity to explore if he’s interested in you and then pursue that interest.

          The way to do this is to be in your feminine energy towards everyone, not just him.

          This means practicing your feminine energy tools with everyone whenever you are around him (and especially when you are not around him!)

          I know it may be hard, but the first thing to do is change your focus towards him and the feeling that you may be “in love” with him.

          Click here to learn more and get started!

  2. tish on August 3, 2015 at 11:17 pm

    Absolutely love your advice!!!! I have been married for 5 years and have 3 children. Can you imagine how easily i lost focus on my femininity?!?!?! Anyhow, i have definitely felt drawbacks with my husband and it was a big relief to stumble across your website! Thank you so much Tatia, i was at my wits end trying to figure things out.

    • Tatia on August 4, 2015 at 1:26 pm

      Hi Tish:

      Thank you! I’m glad you found me and Welcome to Powertolove!

      The key to femininity is your feelings. Feel them, accept them honestly, embrace them, and then express yourself.
      The newsletters will get you started on better understanding your feminine power, speaking your feelings, leaning back, leaning forward (how to avoid doing it),a new approach to men & love and so much more!

      Thanks again for the lovely comment (I’m smiling ear to ear) and feel free to email me with any questions you have.



  3. Annie on September 6, 2015 at 8:36 am

    Hi Tatia,

    So pleased to find you on here!

    Last nigh the guy I’ve been dating really made me annoyed. He’s beeb acting a bit off lately and keeps apologising for it. I keep leaning back and so I don’t feel too bad. But last night we were supposed to be going out and I didn’t hear from him all day about arrangements- I messaged to ask what was happening at the last minute and he said he’d been feeling hungover all day. I said ah that’s a shame it would’ve been nice to see you. He said he’d get a shower and see how he felt and let me know.(this is 7pm on a sat night!) I said to be honest I feel a bit annoyed because I thought I was seeing you and Id prefer to have known earlier. He said ‘I haven’t said no yet!!!’ To which I said ‘true but I don’t fancy waiting around, I’ve been invited for drinks so ill probably just do that now’ and he responded in a second ‘ok fair enough to that’s cool’ his response felt a bit huffy. I had a good night with my friends but I’m confused as to why he’s acting this way- it’s the second time it’s happened. He keeps apologising that he hasn’t seen me in two weeks. I’ve told him ive kept my options open and it’s made him annoyed, I don’t really know what he wants from me. If he’s not interested why does he keep getting in contact but not sealing the deal. It’s been a month and the first two weeks he was so kean on me. I feel very confused! Please help!



    • Tatia on September 6, 2015 at 10:26 am

      Hi Annie:

      I get what you mean about feeling annoyed by his behavior. Excellent job on expressing your feelings!
      You’re leaning back very nicely and I compliment you on keeping your own schedule!!

      There’s no way to know what’s going on in his mind or to figure out what he wants from you . . . so let’s not put any energy into that!
      Instead, let’s soften up even more!

      Yup, instead of sharing any negative feelings with him anymore (you were very clear about his last minute calling on a Saturday night), Lean Back EVEN MORE and just keep another schedule like you did.

      So next time it will sound more like “Oh, I feel so disappointed not to be able to see you tonight. I’m meeting with friends in about an hour at a pub. I’m free tomorrow afternoon though.” And that’s it. Say nothing more about the topic. You can say “It feels so good to hear your voice” or “It would feel so nice to hang out with you again,” but nothing more. Don’t explain. Don’t go into details. Keep it short and simple with a guy who’s acting this way. And remember the Don’t Do List whenever you speak to him. It will help a lot.

      The point is not to make him wrong. He knows he’s wrong. That’s the mystery here, and only he has the answer. So let him deal with it. You keep on with your schedule.

      And keep meeting other guys!

      When a man is very interested in you, he calls, he keeps the date, and he communicates when he can’t.

      So share your energy with a guy who’s showing his interest in you.

      I wouldn’t waste an additional moment on a guy who treats you as an after thought . . . whatever his reason is, it’s just not the way you deserve to be treated.

      Hope that helps, and it was so lovely of you to visit my page and leave a comment. Thank you!



      • Annie on September 7, 2015 at 9:48 am

        Hi Tatia,

        Thank you so much for your reply. I was feeling anxious about my responses to him but I’m glad you approve of how I comminicated my boundaries and I’m proud of myself.

        I’ve found what you’ve said so incredibly useful and I’ve been watching all of your videos over and over until it’s firmly ingrained!

        I feel a little turned off him at the moment and still a bit rejected, so I’m wondering how I i act when I see him/speak with him again? Polite/feeling messages? Also would turning up somewhere I know he will be classed as leaning forward unless I had already planned to go there before I met him?



        • Tatia on September 7, 2015 at 10:47 am

          Hi Annie:

          Thank you so much!

          To answer your first question:
          Here’s the beautiful part about being in your feminine power and in touch with your feelings . . . you get to decide what to do at that moment based on how you feel right then and there!!!

          You may decide that you don’t feel good about him at that moment and that you’d prefer not to speak or respond to him at that time!

          You may feel happy to talk to him but not want to commit to a time to see him.

          The point is to stay in your feelings, be honest with yourself about what you feel, and then do what feels right to you.

          Do what honors your feelings.

          To answer your second question:
          Going where he will be is leaning forward if you are going with any expectation or anticipation of seeing him.

          You’re “making that happen” which is masculine.

          Ask yourself if you’re making a way to see him because he isn’t making a way to see you.

          What does that feel like to you?

          Does it feel icky and needy or does it feel like something else to you?

          There’s no right or wrong answer here, but leaning forward works against the Energy Connection and the natural attraction.

          If a man is not pursuing you, then your pursuing him isn’t going to increase his attraction for you.

          If anything, it makes it HIS choice instead of yours!

          You see, dealing with men and attraction is much easier for women in their feminine power!

          There’s no need to put any energy into pursuing a man who is genuinely interested because he will be the one in pursuit of the woman!

          All she has to do is to lean back, receive his attention and respond in words and actions based on her feeling.

          This allows a man to do what he does naturally when he is genuinely emotionally attracted to a woman.

          So I’m asking you to question yourself about this man . . . if he’s not pursuing you, why do you want to put yourself in a position to purposely run into him?

          Again, no wrong answers here . . . just know what you feel, what you deserve, and what you want.

          Hope that helps.

          With much love,


          • Annie on September 8, 2015 at 1:11 am

            Hi Tatia,

            I got a chane to put everything in practise last night! 🙂 it felt good because I knew what to do this time!! he called me 3 times and messaged to see what I was up to did I fancy going out, he’d forgotten there was a gig on. I used the ‘aw I’m bummed I won’t be able to tonight etc…would be nice to hang out soon’. He asked what was I doing/going instead I said ‘just to a friends to watch a film :)’ and he said to enjoy and that he didn’t know what to do with himself now. I felt a bit bad that Id blown him off when he wamted to see me and I did want to see him but it was last minute.

            My housemate thinks I’m being too harsh and that perhaps this is just the way he is ‘spontaneous’ ‘forgetful’ and that wheb he reaches out Im pushing him away by not hanging out and not continuing the conversation by asking questions! This made me feel a bit doubtful as to whether I was doing the right thing but I’d like to trust if he likes me he’ll book in a proper date as I know he’s capable of it.



          • Tatia on September 8, 2015 at 8:45 pm

            Hi Annie:

            Yay! Good for you!!!
            How beautiful and feminine of a response you gave him!
            It’s natural to feel doubtful. This is your first time flexing your feminine power in a situation like this.
            The point is for him to get the idea that it’s NOT okay for him to contact you last minute for a date.
            If he wants to spend time with you, then he’s going to have to work around his being spontaneous and forgetful.
            And this isn’t putting any pressure on him at all.
            You’re keeping your own schedule.
            You can always fit him him, but never change your schedule to accommodate him or any other man.
            Now, always remember to stay in your feelings and start with the positive when expressing yourself to him.
            Be warm and inviting whenever he contacts you, even if you’re going to say “no” to his last minute request.
            You fancy him and he knows that, so don’t worry and please, don’t doubt yourself.

            Here’s an excerpt from a post just for you:

            Raising Your Degree Of Difficulty

            Degree Of Difficulty” is a Rori Raye Coaching Term used to describe keeping your energy focused on yourself.

            We use this term in coaching a woman how to raise her degree of difficulty and not lose herself in a man or a situation.

            Raising your degree of difficulty is not about playing games or playing hard to get.

            Instead, it’s about:

            – keeping your own schedule,

            – focusing your thoughts and energy on yourself rather than on a man,

            – receiving and responding to a man and

            – leaning back.

            Leaning back includes:

            – following the Don’t Do List (Rori’s Four Rules),

            – using feeling messages,

            – responding instead of initiating and

            – receiving instead of leaning forward and giving.

            Keep up the good work!



  4. Magdalene on March 28, 2018 at 11:40 pm

    What is the most feminine way to react to a man when he says he is going to call you later and then does not? What does this say about him and his feelings about the relationship? (We are in a relationship together). Also, he does not often make plans with me during the week. We tend to only see each other on the weekend (Sat. /Sun.).

    • Tatia on March 30, 2018 at 11:31 pm

      Hi Magdalene:

      A few questions before I answer you . . .

      First question:
      How does it make you feel that he did not call?

      More important questions:

      -Did you place anticipation/expectation around his calling?

      -What kind of love do you want in your life?

      -Do You know how you want love to feel?

      -Do You know how you want to be treated in a relationship?

      -Don’t you deserve to have the kind of love that you truly want?

      MY ANSWER:
      Whenever he’s not right there in front of you, face-to-face, HE DOES NOT EXIST.
      This is the time to get to meet your own needs and enjoy the things that make you happy.

      Be honest with yourself and write down your needs and the things that you enjoy.
      Write out how you want to feel in a relationship and how you want to be treated.
      Memorize your list.
      Internalize it.

      Embrace your honest wants and wishes about love.
      This is part of the process of keeping the focus on you!


      If he calls, he calls. If he doesn’t, he doesn’t . . .
      The problem is your ANTICIPATION.
      If you remove the anticipation, then you remove this feeling that’s welling up inside of.

      Rather than focus on what it means that he says he’s going to call and then doesn’t . . .
      why not fill your schedule up with things for YOU so that you’re busy with your own life and enjoying your time too much to even want him to call.

      Here’s my take on it . . .
      If a man wants to be present in my life, then he must be PRESENT in order to be in my life.
      Telephone calls and text messages don’t count in my book!

      If the evening/weekend/event comes to an end, and he’s going to his home and I am going to my place . . .
      then I’m back to doing ME.
      And trust me, there are a number of people who want to be present in my life (who are calling/texting/emailing and asking for my time).


      Let me give you an example . . .
      We had a wonderful night out.
      I chose to take a taxi home from the city after midnight because we both had early morning obligations the next day and lived in opposite directions.

      He asked me to text him when I reached home (you can call/text if he seriously asks you to – it’s not leaning forward).

      Once I got in the house, I sent him a quick text message and started to draw a bubble bath.
      I didn’t even look at my phone again to check if he responded.

      It was my time to take care of myself and prepare for the next day so I could be my best.

      (and I responded sweetly to his text messages in the morning thanking him for such an awesome evening).

      Take this approach in baby steps.
      Don’t rush right into condemning him and popping into your head wondering ‘what’s going on’ with him.

      If you take this approach, soon you won’t even look for his call . . . and he may eventually notice that!

      What do YOU need in order to care for yourself once you get home?

      What would feel good?

      And if your answer to the last few questions involves him . . . then realize that the things you’re bringing up are your relationship needs that are not being met.

      This is your issue, NOT HIS.

      If your relationship needs are not being met in this situation with him, then I would gently suggest that you
      get clear on what you need,
      get clear on how you feel about what you need
      and start observing whether he’s actually capable (and willing) to meet your needs.


      This is all about you and what’s going on inside of you.

      Now, once you’re CLEAR about your relationship needs, and whether or not he’s capable of meeting your relationship needs, TRUST ME, he’s going to notice the shift in your energy.

      And I’m not suggesting that you have an attitude towards him or anything like that.
      Keep your focus on yourself and what you want and need.
      This is not about blaming him.
      It’s about determining your choices.
      Is he the right choice for you?
      Is this the type of relationship that you truly want?

      OH . . .

      He may approach you and ask “what’s up?

      Instead of going into “you say you’re going to call and then don’t call
      tell him what you’re feeling at that moment . . .
      something like:
      It feels good at times like this when we’re together. Other times I feel unsure about __________
      (this is something about your relationship needs and should be said in terms of YOU, not what he does or doesn’t do).

      I know this was very detailed and deep . . .

      What I typed is typical of a coaching session and so there are more dynamics involved, but nevertheless, I hope it helps.



  5. Caroline on May 3, 2018 at 2:48 am

    I try to lean back at all times with calling/texting. To the point where I’ve been dating a man for 2 years who I’ve probably never initiated contact with. He mentioned to me that he’d like to get a text or call from me sometime, instead of him having to do all the initiating all the time. I hate this. I don’t want to lean forward. I told him it’s not my style. But it seems like there’s some feminine energy in him that wants to feel chased, too. When we’re together I’m very affectionate and initiate sex so I validate my attraction and interest in him in other ways.

    Just wondering how I should handle a man asking me to lean forward…

    • Tatia on May 3, 2018 at 11:36 am

      Hi Caroline:

      It’s okay to RESPOND to his request!
      Just do it in a way that feels good to you.

      When a man requests you call him (and he means it, not just saying “hey, give me a call”), then you’re receiving a request from him.
      Your response is always feminine!

      I totally get how you feel.
      I had a similar situation where my guy said “I want you to call me – I do all the calling.”
      But it felt WEIRD whenever I tried to call him.
      I felt like I was being pulled into my masculine.
      Yet, I could feel that he sincerely wanted to feel some warmth and attention from me in this particular way.
      He was requesting to experience more of my feminine response.

      So I would pick a time when I was totally in a warm leaning back vibe.
      I wanted to share a sweet message with him in response to his request.
      So I would dial his number, and if he was able to pick up, I would say
      “this is a sweet message from Tee wishing you a nice day.”
      He would laugh and say “thank you Miss Tee.”
      If he couldn’t pick up (I knew he was at work) then I would leave the same message on his voice mail.

      Consider it this way Caroline,
      He’s making a request.
      You are receiving his request.
      They key is to make your response feminine, creative and warm.

      Responding to a man’s request to call him (if he really means it) is NOT leaning forward.
      And if it feels “leaning forward to you,” then add some CREATIVITY to your response.

      Now, let me point out that I did not call every day (lol). I called when it felt right to me.

      His asking you to “call or text me sometime” does not feel like he’s asking you to take on a masculine role in the relationship or lean forward.
      It sounds like he may be seeking a bit of attention.

      Your initial feeling may be resistance.
      That’s okay . . . just go deeper.
      What’s the feeling underneath that feeling of resistance?



      Remember, Leaning back is a two part deal . . .
      1. we lean back and receive, and then
      2. we respond with warmth.

      If this is the first time you’re reading about receiving and responding, I explain this in my free webinar recording and go into much more detail in the Power to Love Academy

      • JJ on October 12, 2023 at 7:10 pm

        Yes I made this mistake of leaning back too much . To the point he felt I wasn’t interested. And he lost interest in me . And it happened with a few other men who thought I was cold, not showing much interest. Lesson learnt.

        • Tatia on October 14, 2023 at 8:13 am

          Hi JJ – Thank you so much for sharing your experience! “Leaning Back Too Much” is real! The key to avoiding this is to stay connected & aware of your feelings and to express yourself from that feminine place. Flirting with him, speaking appreciation and sharing your passion topics are ways to keep the connection. Check out my video here also.



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