Lean Back Into Your Sexiness – Improve Your Relationship & Dating

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Tatia Blog

 The video below begins with an actual “HOW TO” sample of a coaching session where I walk a client through “Leaning Back” in a dating or relationship situation.



Leaning back is important once you’ve made a connection with a man.

Leaning back keeps his emotional attraction and desire for you strong.

Leaning back is all about letting your feminine energy continue to draw him in even closer.

Leaning back influences not just your body language, but your words and other non-verbal communication with him.

Picture this scenario: 
Your shoulders are down and you’re sitting with your back comfortably in your seat.
You’re playing with your bracelet or watch on your wrist, noticing how it reflects the lights in pretty colors
. . . he’s staring at you smiling
. . . he starts talking and you look up
. . . you start looking at his eyes, and noticing just how good he looks
. . . you’re listening to him with your full attention

. . . he asks where would you like to eat
. . . you smile and say ” I’m feeling Italian food tonight.”


leaning back to be pleased

This scenario is just a sample of the change that happens when you start leaning back – literally, figuratively and physically. This is a scenario that happens to me often now! It will happen to you too once you start practicing leaning back!


You see, the “old me” would’ve been talking a mile a minute;
my hands would be in or on his pants;
making plans;
asking (interrogating) him about his day;
and bringing up any issue I wanted to address so “we” could get to romance.
My agenda was all about “us,” and my focus was all on him.





Now, I lean back!
I’m focused on me totally;
I’m open to him;
I’m open to what he has to say;
and I’m letting him guide the conversation, the evening, the date or the vacation plans. I skip leaning forward and that puts us in “connection” and “romance” for the whole time together.  THIS is what leaning back does!




Leaning back is about the Energy Connection;

Leaning back is sticking to the Don’t Do List;




Leaning Back is being aware of your feelings;



Leaning Bak is choosing your words based on your feelings;



Leaning Back is being into myself and my own life (without making plans around him); and



Leaning back is identifying and enjoying the things I love about being a woman!







LEANING BACK – The Handbook




  1. G Spot on August 27, 2014 at 1:13 pm

    I have to keep that song in my mind by Fat Joe

    • Tatia on August 28, 2014 at 9:15 am

      OMG! I have it on my play list!!!! I totally get what you mean! And Leaning Back really does work immediately – you are going to LOVE THE RESULTS!

    • Tatia on September 3, 2014 at 11:30 pm

      Lean back

  2. joss on September 18, 2014 at 12:46 am

    how do i lean back when feeling angry?
    howabout when feeling hurt?

    • Tatia on September 18, 2014 at 2:57 pm

      Hi Joss:

      The idea of keeping the focus on you is to take your focus off of a man, what he said or did or didn’t do. It’s taking the focus off of what you want him to do, and instead bringing that back to you. What do you want that you can do? This is where Your List comes into play. When you keep the focus on you, and not on a man (even when you are feeling hurt, angry or mad), it helps you to lean back. So even feeling not your best, you are still in your feminine and not making him wrong or directing your feelings at him (or acting out on your feelings . . . impacting him in any kind of way).



  3. Learning on December 28, 2014 at 6:19 pm

    What do you do if your needs aren’t getting met in some way, but you’re leaning back but feeling unloved by him? I feel like I’ve been in masculine energy so long, It almost feels foreign to feel feminine.

    • Tatia on December 28, 2014 at 7:42 pm

      Hi Learning:

      I totally understand what you’re feeling as far as your needs not being met as well as unloved.
      Without knowing more about your situation (married, living together or just dating) my answer to you is two-fold.

      This is when you turn your attention from him and your relationship and focus onto yourself instead.

      Don’t look at what he does (or doesn’t do) to determine what’s right or what’s wrong.

      You’re so totally on point with focusing on the feeling that your needs are not getting met and that “unloved” feeling.

      The Honest Fact Is That You can’t control another person or make them do anything.
      You can only control yourself.

      Yet, it is possible to inspire someone to change or do things differently.
      The key is that the change starts with you.

      So here’s the change: Feel your feeling. Embrace them.
      I would invite you to write down what your needs are.
      Then write down how you feel about these needs, and how it feels to want them met by him.
      And then, write down how YOU can get your needs met!

      Now that you’ve written out your needs and your feelings, consider how you would share them with him.

      WAIT! Before you go and say to him “we need to talk” (lol)
      I want you to take a different approach to sharing your feelings and needs with him.

      FIRST: Please put a positive spin on it. Start with your true feelings.
      If you’re feeling unloved, then ask yourself “what does unloved feel like?”
      Is it loneliness?
      Is it a desire for attention or to be touched?
      Is it feeling sad?

      NOW: Keep Leaning Back as you prepare to share your feelings with him.
      Wait until you’re together (NOT over the phone), and he does something nice or something that feels good.

      Let’s say he walks up behind you and puts his arms around your waist and hugs you.

      You can say “Ummmmm, I feel so wonderful when you touch me and hold me like that. Your arms feel strong. I miss that feeling so much. This feels good.”


      This is speaking from your feminine power.
      This is speaking your feelings while leaning back.
      Find more opportunities to let him know what he does that feels good and that you want to feel more of it.

      NEXT: Pamper Yourself.
      Do things that you enjoy that make you feel loved and adored!

      Spend time with friends or family.
      Treat yourself to something that’s really nice, even if it’s a soothing bubble bath after work.

      Shift your focus from what you feel he’s not doing and really focus on treating yourself well.
      Meet your own needs.

      Ahhhhhhhh, yes, I know about being in masculine energy so long that it feels weird to lean back and be in your feminine!!!
      This, my dear, is my specialty!!

      When you lean back, don’t expect a response from him.
      This is a time of observation!

      It is also a time of awareness.
      Be aware of when you’re leaning back and in your feminine power, and be even more aware of when you’re not!

      There are going to be times that you’re leaning forward or in your masculine.
      Catch yourself and STOP.
      Just don’t beat yourself up about it.

      Keep leaning back.
      Keep practicing.
      Practice it more and more.
      Practice it on strangers.
      Practice it at work, in the grocery store, in restaurants and even walking down the street.

      Don’t expect anything from him, but remember, it’s important to be warm and soft and open when he does approach you.

      Yes, I know this is not easy because the hardest thing is to stay leaning back when you’re interacting with him.

      It’s difficult not to initiate conversations and contact,
      but you can totally do this.

      The key is to respond!
      Receive from him and respond to him.
      Be soft.
      And this is being soft more to yourself than just to him.

      There are several tools we can discuss that will help you adjust to leaning back.
      Check out a few more of my blog posts on the subject.

      Hoping that helps you out.

      Much Love,


  4. Helena Hart on April 6, 2015 at 1:13 pm

    I love this post, Tatia! Amazing video!! 🙂

    Love, Helena

    • Tatia on April 6, 2015 at 1:57 pm

      Hi Helena!
      Thank you so much Helena 😀

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