8 Signs That You Need To Lean Back


Quick note – Dee is in his Man Cave (his apartment) again.  It’s been 2 weeks and he just stops by.  Doesn’t sleep over.  NO SEX.  Things are so much better than before, but I just feel shut out.  The old urges are creeping up my spine and I want to go over to his place and check on him, his closets, his bathroom, his phone – but I won’t.  Want to ask him what’s going on – but I won’t.  I don’t think it’s me.  It’s him.  Do I need to lean back even if it’s him and not me?




HERE’S A PORTION OF MY EMAIL RESPONSE (reprinted with her permission):

8 Signs that you need to Lean Back even more:

1.  He stops calling, doesn’t communicate or just uses small talk
2.  He doesn’t make plans anymore
3.  He’s a no show and makes excuses
4.  He doesn’t touch you
5.  You stop having sex
6.  He doesn’t do things for you like he used to
7.  He’s tense and argumentative or doesn’t respond to you
8.  He starts talking about other women and treating you like just a friend



Let him initiate. And still continue to lean back if he doesn’t initiate.

Let him bring his energy to you, rather than you actively moving towards him with energy.  This also involves not pushing your energy at or towards him.


Lean back even more

Stay OPEN to him. Make eye contact (remember to smile) with him and use non-verbal communication (remember to stay in the moment) instead of feeling the urge to talk (no texting).


Give yourself space

Let go of your expectations and any anticipation regarding him or the relationship.  Let him guide the conversation, the evening, the date and any future plans.


Keep your own schedule of things you enjoy

Shifting your focus will shift your vibe from masculine to feminine. Fill your time away from him with YOU, rather than thoughts about him or the relationship.  Remember to be warm and inviting when you spend time together or interact, but completely engrossed in yourself when he’s not physically there with you (out of sight – out of mind).


Widen your view

Practice your leaning back skills out in the world.  Remember Interacting With Men.


Journal your feelings

This will help you create words (feeling messages) to use in a script if he approaches you with a conversation.  Whatever you do, DO NOT ask him “where’s this relationship going” (or any version of that question).  Instead, use the questions that end each feeling message in your script.

For even more Leaning Back practices, get the HANDBOOK







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