Welcome back to the Powertolove podcast. This is part seven of my love word series. And today we're going to talk about shifting from pain to power and part six, we went through some hard words and it was rough for me even to talk about it. But now that we've done that, we we've gone to the bottom, we've scraped the bottom of the barrel.

And now we're ready to flip this, to shift from this painful place to a powerful place. and it's shifting back to your feminine. You're, you're, you're getting out of the gloom and doom mode and you're getting back to what's feminine, what's pleasing for you, what's Good for you, even what's inspiring for you because remember we're putting together your love words and Love like life has bad times.

So that's why we had to go there In part six now in part seven, we're going to lighten it up a little bit, but it's still kind of a process We're going to shift from What's painful and the way we're going to do it is to decide what needs to change. Where am I versus where do I want to be? So if I'm in a feeling of despair, why am I feeling despair?

What's causing that for me? And where do I want to be instead of despair? And in order to determine where I want to be instead of despair, I have to understand why I'm here actually identifying what the issue is. What's causing me to be in despair and give words to that. So this may not necessarily be a List, but it's more of a work list almost like a worksheet You're going to work through the words that come to you.

So for with despair, I would say There's frustration and angst, and what do I want? I want to be free of this. That's what I want. I want freedom. I want lightness. I want, so I'm, mind you, I'm writing these words down. Okay, this is, I'm going, I'm looking at where I am, the pain, to where I want to be, the power.

And so the power that I want is to feel freedom. I want to feel lightness. I want to be rid of whatever it is that's bothering me. And you continue in that process, the next thing I want to do is what actual steps do I need to take in order to get that outcome in order to get to that power in order to step away from the pain to the power to make that transfer.

To change what actual steps and and I break them down into baby steps. What baby steps do I need to take? Because maybe this isn't a one and done kind of situation. Maybe it's something I need to work on and make happen plan stage commit to hold myself accountable until I achieve this. Do you see how the words now have power?

Because they fuel me. And the most important part, I think, well for me personally, the most important part is to then focus on that. Visualize it. See it. Remember, energy flows where focus goes. That's a Tony Robbins quote. So I'm going to focus on where it is I want to be. I'm going to focus on what I want.

I'm going to focus on my power. So this whole process that I gave you, you're writing the whole time. And I use different sheets. So I have a sheet for my pain. I have a sheet for baby steps, the steps that I need to shift to my power. And I have a sheet for my focus, what I want. And then the final step is to actually do something.

Okay. It's all right to have the baby steps, but you've got to actually do something. And let me tell you it, for me, for me, it's as easy. As washing the dishes doing some light cleaning maybe doing the laundry going for a walk Doing some stretching or some yoga turning on some music and dancing or exercising.

I love Dancing. Okay Love the music love the movements everything it could be singing you can be taking a shower taking a bath It's changing Chrome is changing your state is acknowledging process of change when you take some kind of action towards your baby step or just some type of action in this moment shows and confirms that change is happening for you.

And that's the point you want to change from the doom and gloom. My word was spare for today. I want to change from that. I need to shift from the pain to the power. I need to get there, but it's a process and I'm taking you through this process with your words, your, your love words. You're feeling words.

You're not so good feeling words because where are we going with this? We're going to the, to the section of discussing a problem with a man or even a person. It doesn't even have to be a man. You want to, you want to, Describe your feelings about a problem without attacking a person. And it requires you to get down to the bottom of your feelings.

Remember we talked about your genuine feelings, your true feelings, that you want to be authentic. And the reason we're putting together these love words is because you're using words that fit. They work for you. They, they, They really click with what, with what you feel in your body. And yet, at the same time, we can be creative, and we can be poetic, and we can be feeling based, so that it helps us stay in our feminine more often.

And this way, we can purposely, positively, Being our masculine rather than rather than reacting to people from what our beliefs and our thoughts are instead of processing it And coming from a feeling place and even if you're not coming from a feeling place So that your feminine is still guiding your masculine.

Remember your feminine Guides your masculine so your masculine can get you where you want to go, but you're still adhering You To a feminine and leaning back, irresistible lifestyle. It's not just romance. It's a lifestyle. It's a way of being. So we don't want to go to the ugly masculine place where we just react and just obliterate people with our words.

Okay. We want, we want to soften that up because how you do anything is how you do everything. So if you're like that in life, then you be like that in your relationship. Did I just strike a chord there? I think so. So this is why We want to be more in a feminine existence and when we're not to let our feminine guide our masculine so that it is positive Masculine energy that we're exercising and yes It all boils down to your words and your actions and I so I did touch on actions in this Podcast but we're really focusing on the words.

So let's get back to shifting from pain to power. So you're shifting, you've done the process and you've made your, your different worksheets and you're writing down all the different words. Now you want to look at those words, all of them, even, even the words where you're focusing and visualizing on what you really want.

How are you going to discuss or address a problem with someone? And what I suggest is to look at those words and how can we soften them or if softening them is not possible, how can you lighten it up? And that may not be possible either. So, the first thing you want to do is, in this conversation, and we call this scripting, if you're writing the conversation out first, you're writing out what you're going to say, you're saying, you're writing, you're putting down your good feeling first.

You always start with a good feeling, whether it's what happened today, or you're glad to see the person, or something nice they said or did, if it's thank you, or I'm so grateful for, or this felt good, whatever it is, you start with something good. So you could say you start with a feeling message, but it's something that feels good.

And then you want to get into addressing what the issue is. And remember I started off saying that I felt despair. It's a very heavy word. Okay. Oh, I feel despair I could say i'm feeling a little heavy. I'm feeling a little blue I'd have to work on that, but I think blue would work for me. I'm a color person So i'm feeling i'm feeling a little blue And it just feels so good to be here with you right now And I don't know, it's just Nine times out of ten the person will say, Do you want to talk about it or what's up?

You know, what's going on? Then I can go into what I want. What my power is. Now look at, look at the page with your power words on them. This is what I crave. I want freedom. I want to be rid of this. It's just so heavy. And this is what, this is what I see that Maybe I can do towards this. What do you think?

Do you see how I didn't put the ball in that person's court right now? It's about me. Even if that person caused the problem, even if that person is involved in the problem, I am working through this in the conversation using my words from these three Various sheets that I've softened or feminine up get my truth out there without making anyone wrong without blaming anyone and more importantly by taking my power back from pain.

I am shifting from pain to power and you better believe I'm not shifting backwards to the pain I'm going forwards and that's what the baby steps are for to give you a path to go forward. So during this conversation you want to be sure to stay in your feelings. Now these love words are to assist you in that but sometimes we pop into our little crazy beliefs A little gremlin minds, we pop back into that and that's why scripting helps because the words are in front of you.

And the another point is to speak your feelings rather than the facts. Now when you're getting into, okay, and I don't want to give them too many baby steps. Let's say I'll mention two baby steps. When I'm talking about baby steps, then that's factual. All right, but the feelings I'm going to always bring it back to the feelings and always remember the example I gave you, I never went into the context.

At some point you want to give just a little bit of context. Be careful about context because you can get explaining or you could get very, very heavy on the facts. Don't want to do that. You want to keep it brief and sweet. Right now. If this conversation is with a man, which you're romantically interested in or involved with, then you want to look at the don't do list and try and stick with that.

Because anytime you want to say the word you when you're talking about something negative, He's involved in it. You kind of want to keep those feminine boundaries that are established in the don't do list. I'll put the link down or a link down in the show notes for the don't do list. And finally, you want to stay warm and open and even curious.

You don't want to shut down. You want to, because what if the person has something to say, like, what if the person is saying something that I did to cause this or contribute it? Oh, and I can get a little touchy. I tend to shut down when someone's criticizing me, and I'm learning, okay, I can't help it. I do shut down, but then I learn to breathe.

Take that deep breath in, open up a little bit, and hear them. Process it. Don't react. Receive, pause, and then respond. Pause is where you process. This process here, this processing, is what's going to keep you going. Opening up because I'm not saying you can't shut down I'm just saying be aware of when you shut down and open back up so that you can remain part of the conversation part of the process of solving whatever the issue is and Remain in the momentum towards power instead of regressing back to the pain This is not easy, and I know I just gave you a whole bunch of information, but the most important part is the exercise of getting from your pain to your power, and what you're doing in the conversation with the person is Read, I would read the words, but if you already know them, do you notice how I knew what I felt and I'm not going into everything.

I'm picking one thing. Just one thing. And I know what the context is. I know to keep it brief and sweet. And do you remember I said, what do you think? That's when you stop and let the person speak. Let them say whatever they have to say, even if they're just going to ask you a question. You know what you feel you have your baby steps.

So, you know what you where you're headed You know what you want to change, you know what your power is And you can always come back to that because you have so many different baby steps If the person caused something or was involved in it remember the don't do list I'm not going to go into that now.

You can just check the show notes the link in the show notes for that Remember the don't do list because it will keep you from attacking them It will keep you from making that person wrong. It will keep you in your power. I know this was heavy just to be talking about love words, right?