PART THREE

This is the PowertoLove podcast and we are at part three of the Love Words series.

Today we're going to talk about speaking genuinely from your feminine. Now last week I went into the processing that happens when you pause after receiving whatever's going on. And and then before you respond. So we're going to expand on that a little bit here.

So first you receive whatever happened or whatever someone said. And then you pause before you respond. In that pause, you're processing what it is that you receive. It begins with your five senses, and the first place it hits is your mind, your brain, your thinking, your focus. So, from there, we went down into our feelings.

But to access our feelings, we went into the practice of going into your body. Where in my body do I feel this? And if you don't feel it anywhere in your body, just touch your body. Make connections with your body. Take a deep breath. Drop your shoulders. Loosen up. Make a connection with your body, even if you can't feel your feelings there in your body.

And then from there, And this is where we're going to focus on today. You're looking for your true feelings. We talked about the stewing pot. The mixture of feelings. And last week, we also talked about finding the positive within that mixture. And focusing on that positive element. And with that feeling is what you use to begin to form whatever expression you were going to put together as your response.

Now. We're going to focus in this series on your verbal response, your physical response, your body response, your action, that's covered in the Academy. So I wanted to acknowledge there are two responses, but our focus here is on the words, the verbal response. Now, in the last part, I've also asked you to Make a list or at least write one word for the feeling, the good feeling, that you experienced, that you felt.

So, if you continue this practice, you may have a couple of words together. Now, we're going to look at those words because we want to make sure that they're genuine. All right, not just a word that you picked, happy, mad, glad, sad. We want to make sure that the words that you're putting into your list, your feminine words, that they're genuine.

And I believe for those words to be genuine, You have to go back to the beginning of the process and analyze your process. So, when you first receive, whatever, whatever your five senses take in, when you first receive, where's your focus? Remember, we calmed down, we got a little quiet, but where is your focus?

Because if your focus is off, The feeling you come up might not be the exact genuine feeling. It might not be the complete truth of how you feel. So I'm not asking you to think, I'm just asking you to be aware of your focus. And do you need to shift? Your focus. Do you need to shift your focus to you or to your feminine or away from something that's distracting you from your truth, then as you get into your feeling?

And we're reaching into our body to see where do I feel this, or at least coming in contact with our bodies just to make it real so that we know we're not stuck in our focus and our thinking and our beliefs. We're actually getting to the meat of it. When you get to the feeling, now is where we look at, am I feeling feminine or am I feeling masculine?

If you're new to my coaching or to my webpage, then you may not be aware of how I distinguish feminine energy and masculine energy. And I think it's worth the digress here just to give you that foundation if you don't already have it. So in a nutshell, feminine energy involves feeling. Being, receiving, creating, and expressing.

Those are the energies that that are going to dominate mostly when you're in your feminine energy. And your masculine energy is that getting things done energy in your life. It involves controlling, Thinking, analyzing, doing, taking action, and making decisions. And it's a beautiful balance between these two energies within us.

And I call this Feminine Power. The balance between the two. And the key to Feminine Power is that your Feminine Energy guides. Your masculine energy. So we're not trying to eradicate the masculine energy in our lives, but we do want to, one, be aware of the difference of when we're in our feminine and when we are in our masculine energy, and two, to make sure that the feminine energy guides the masculine energy. So that kind of means that the feminine energy is the dominant or has dominance, because I have to be very honest with you. Then myself, the masculine energy is dominant. That's why I became a coach in this area because I found what works and it works beautifully for relationships and for life.

But I'm My feminine energy has dominance and therefore it controls and directs and guides my masculine energy. I am no longer on a masculine I'm just not out of control anymore with my masculine. The point is, is that it's guided, it's focused, it's directed by my feminine energy, but as a go to Without thinking, yeah, I'm in my masculine most of the time.

So the feminine has dominance in my life. It's on purpose. It's beautiful. It's already there. And if you see, there's an acceptance because I understand my personal balance. This is the epitome of feminine power, because it's not perfect, but it is. There is a balance, there's a congruence, there's a dance, there's a flow between my feminine energy and my masculine energy, and my feminine energy is in control.

This is the connection within yourself between your feminine and your masculine. And so what I'm asking you to do here in this stage of, cause we did the, we did the focus. We had the whatever we received, it came in, we focused on it. We thought about it. Now we're getting into our feelings in this feeling part.

Now we're identifying, we're becoming aware if we are in our feminine energy or a masculine energy. And don't think of your masculine energy as something that's bad. That's why I just gave you my story. It's not bad. But to get to your true feeling, to get to your genuine feeling in this moment, You need to be in your feminine.

You need to shift to your feminine. I'll put some links in the show notes for shifting to your feminine. So you identify which energy you're in and if you're in your masculine energy, it's time to shift into your feminine energy. And I'll just give you a quick, just take a deep breath, release, loosen your shoulders.

Just loosen your body all over. Take another deep breath. Let your mind ease. Notice you pop back into your head. You went back to the focus. You went back to your beliefs. Now let's get back into the feelings, all right? And in your feelings, You know about the stew pot. You know about the mixture. Now, let's look for the truth.

And it's not so much that you're going to speak your truth, or you're going to go through analyzing your truth. It's this process of seeking your truth that makes you genuine. And this is the practice that I really want you to focus on. Is to be honest with yourself. To go with the genuine. To not be afraid if it's ugly.

To not be afraid if it's something, a repeated pattern. To not be afraid if it's something you don't like about yourself. To not be afraid if it's something you feel that you haven't been able to change or to heal or to grow from. There's always the next moment and tomorrow. Life is going forward. So, in being genuine, you're being honest with yourself and you're looking at the truth.

You're not ignoring the truth. You're not bypassing the truth in this way. You're looking at that whole mixture of feelings and before you were thinking good and bad, but now you're looking at What's really true? What's really going on? You're getting beneath the feeling you could say Oh, I'm angry, but in reality, you're embarrassed You could say I'm embarrassed but in reality, you're hurt.

You could say oh, I'm hurt. But in reality, you're in pain Okay, I just got to my truth right there on that thing. All right, now I can even get beneath that. Where do I feel this pain? I feel it in my chest and my throat. Where do you feel the pain? Where do you feel the truth? For me it was pain, but what's your truth?

Where do you feel it? Where is it? Where, what, where is the presence of it within you? This practice. Is the practice of being genuine and this is what is required when you speak your love words, when you speak feminine. Is this foundational beginning of being genuine, of finding your truth and trust me I don't share my truth with everyone.

That's for a select audience. But my words are formed to reflect my truth. Whether I tell you what my truth is or not, this is how I put my words together. This is my truth. This is what is at the foundation of the meaning of the words, my poetry words, my beautiful words, my not so beautiful words, my speak feminine.

It's not coming from my mind, it's coming from my heart, but this is the process. You can't just sit down and write down your words. You must go to the truth. Of what you feel at any given moment, understanding that there's a mixture of feminine and masculine, a beautiful mixture of feminine and masculine within you.

But we let the feminine dominate. We let the feminine guide us. And it's in this process that we are genuine, and the reason I want you to get this process down is so that when you speak your feminine words, you are speaking genuinely. As you put together these words, words that feel right to you, and you're making your little list.

It's already infused. It's already a feature that you will be speaking genuinely when you speak feminine. So the next part of this is that when you're, this whole genuine practice means that you are truly connected to the words that you use to express your feelings. So that connection part, that makes it personal, that makes it.

Beautiful. It makes it real, and honey, a man can tell when you're being real. And this is why we stand in the mirror and practice our words to make sure that they work for us. I'm going to tell you the word I had the hardest time with. It's a word that Rory Ray uses. in her programs. And you should get her programs.

I have them all, but the word is yuck. And I had such a hard time using this word yuck, but it kept speaking to me. There was something about that word that was true. There was something about that word that had a presence within me that I didn't want to share with anyone else. And so I went on a soul searching, you know, moment.

Okay. And I found the place for that word yuck. But every time I heard it, I felt something and I finally got it. And I was like, so when I use the word yuck, I mean it, baby. Okay. It's very real. I know I have a connection to that word and therefore It makes me more genuine when I say it, when I speak.

It's part of my, my feminine vocabulary. I wanted to give you that example so you could understand what I mean. Connection, a connection is all not always a positive, beautiful flowing word. Sometimes we have our truth takes us where we have to speak things that aren't that pleasant or refer to those things, but it still means that we're speaking true.

And just let me fast forward. Just imagine you. Having an argument or an issue with a man, and you really need to do, you really need to discuss this and talk about it. And what words do you use? When I say yuck, okay, you know I'm not happy, but I'm not pushing him away. I'm not shoving masculine in his face.

I'm not leaning forward. My energy is not a pushing energy. When I say the word yuck, it's not a pushing thing. That's the point. All right, let's get back on topic. So I wanted to take you guys through the actual practice of expressing your feelings instead of your thoughts. And the main point of that, you had to learn about speaking genuinely, that practice, so that when you're speaking genuinely, you're not coming from your beliefs, your thoughts and your focus.

You're in your feelings. You're in your body. And sometimes, and remember, to get to that, to get this whole thing started, we have to understand whether we were in our feminine or our masculine. So, in your practice, you want to get softer and you want to get more positive. Because when you want to express yourself, these are the words you're going to be using every day.

So you have to make sure that when you practice, you soften up, because when you speak, when you actually get out in the world and start practicing it, it will be natural for you to soften up just a touch to get positive, just a touch and then speak. And You already know that the words will express what it is that you feel because that was the point of putting the list together and practicing it in the mirror and just then start practicing it out in the world with people.

Once you get to the practice, you want to know, what does it feel like to speak? from this place of being a little bit softer, a little bit more positive, and being in your feelings so that you know you're speaking from your feelings, being in your feelings, making the connection to your body, you're speaking from your feelings rather than from your head, your thoughts, and your beliefs.

So the most important thing was to focus on your feminine. Aha! There it goes again. There's a balance, awareness. Where am I? Am I feminine or am I masculine in this moment? And you see, sometimes there's a time to be masculine. When I'm at work, I'm thinking. I'm putting things together. I have to speak, you know, rules, facts.

I have to speak these things. Things, but that's a different language. I'm working. I'm talking then when we go off the record, then I can speak genuine, but when you're working, so I just want you to understand there is a time for this, there's a time to express yourself. There's a time to be very connected to your words, so don't try and mix this with work.

That, that's different. That's a specific topic that you have to address. But other than that, absolutely. Like I said, once we're off the record, I'm back to my feminine speak. Okay? So, recognize The balance when you're practicing. The next part is to mentally and emotionally put yourself in a good environment where you're not triggered when you practice, when you write down your words.

Now, we can't always be in a positive environment or good environment, and we can't always avoid triggers. If you find that, that you can't do that, you know, like you got kids running around the house, or you have to do this at work because you have school later on, and then you have to do your studies when you get home, so you're just squeezing this in on your lunch break, I get it.

The point is just to be aware that within your environment you want to find that little bubble, that little pocket where. It's a good environment and you're able to resist the triggers just from that moment so that you know that you are in your feminine energy in a feminine state as you search your feelings and connect with your body and come up with the words.

That describe your feelings or if you're just going through your list and you're practicing your list you want to be in your feminine energy with a good environment and able to resist the triggers so that these words are not contaminated. That's the whole point. We don't want to contaminate any of the words on your list.

So the process in which you come up with them is so important. So on the Feeling Messages page, and that's basically, this is kind of like the next step in Feeling Messages. I go into Scenarios, and let me find this section. It's after being in your Genuine. So it's called Feeling Message Exercise. And it starts with a scenario.

So, I want to take you through the scenario. And this will, this will set us up for part four. So, the scenario says, Let's say you're really pissed off at a man for something he didn't do. And you can't even manage a smile. The next tab says try this. So we're going to click on try this. Your mind is racing with all of the things just waiting to jump out of your mouth and push them away.

Imagine that he walks over to you smiling. You want to explode, but you don't. Take a deep breath and smile to yourself, exhale, breathe deeply again, roll your shoulders Let your arms hang at your side and your weight pull your shoulders down. Don't say anything to him yet. Imagine that he puts his hand on your shoulder and asks, How are you?

How was your day? Soften your thoughts and lean back into his touch. I bet you still want to scream at him, right? Or you want to explain how upset you're feeling. Right? Or maybe you want to ignore him. Maybe you want to brush his hand off. Watch the video. It's called The Feminine Art of Melting. Watch that video and see if you can come up with a better response in that moment, all right? So you can pause here and Start the podcast again after you watch the video.

How was that? So, click the tab that says still upset.

Here it says if melting didn't help you soften up, then this is clearly something we need to figure out before you say something to him. So grab your journals and let's take our first swing at scripting. And then it goes through explaining to you how to script. And I prefer to write, but some people type.

I have clients who actually use their phones or their tablets and they type it out. Now remember, in the processing, we start with our focus. our beliefs. We calm that down or quiet our mind and we come down into our feelings. When we're in our feelings, we become aware if we're in our feminine energy or our masculine energy.

We want to shift over to the feminine energy. Now in this state, I want you to feel back to something good from this day, even if it's morning, something good. And if you have a hard time finding something good, let's start with something that you're grateful for from this day, something you're grateful for.

If you don't have anything that was good. Now, Write that down and describe how that good thing made you feel, or the thing that you're grateful for, how that made you feel.

And we're going to write our first sentence now.

I felt blank when blank. So, it could be, I felt warm when I sat in the sun this morning drinking my tea.

It's not hard. Don't overthink this. Oh, I bet you snapped back into your head just then.

Let's feel, what did you feel? Sun, warm. You see that connection for me? I seek the sun for its warmth. I seek the sun for its light. Nice and easy. Make the connection. So it's not like, oh, I felt wet when I took a bath. No! Did you feel relaxed when you took a bath?

Did you feel invigorated? Did you feel happy? Were you ready to get the day going? Did you feel strengthened? These kinds of things. You've got to go a little bit deeper, okay? And that's how you answer the question. How was your day? You go back to a good experience. Something good from the day. You get to the feeling.

How did it make you feel? And your response was, felt warm when I sat in the sun this afternoon drinking my tea. Now that sounds weird. He's gonna be like, huh? But you're not being Rory Ray calls it, you're not being a reporter. Oh, this happened and that happened and this happened and that happened. No, you're speaking from your feelings.

Why go back to the other tab 'cause you're upset. That's why. And instead of coming from your, your focus and your mind. And this man, and being all in your masculine and then saying and doing something to push him away or to ruin the connection between you. Mm mm. That's why we do this. That's why we use feeling messages.

Because, Just to take you, just to fast forward to later in the series, the next thing is after I say, Oh, it felt so warm when I sat in the sun drinking my tea. And I'm feeling, I'm feeling a little confused also. Oh, I like that cologne you're wearing babe, that smells good. You said you were confused.

What you confused about? Oh, when we were at the movies the other night when you said that thing, I'm still, it's, it still comes back to me a little bit, but that cologne smells good on you. Now, it's for future, future part of the series, what can go from there, but I wanted you to see How it fits that this is part of the process and there's a reason for this.

It keeps you in your feminine and it keeps the connection between you. It keeps you from damaging his emotional attraction to you. Words. Fight. Words sting, and you can't take those words back. You can't unring that bell. That's why it is so crucial to get this process going and to have your love words.

And warm is one of my love words. You saw how it was easy. I was able to use it. I was able to dance around it. Confused. is on my list also. I'm very careful how I use it, but remember I was talking about genuine? Remember I was talking about my truth? Yeah. Confused is an honest, honest, honest expression and it brings me down multiple levels from angry, pissed off, you just name it.

Okay. It brings me down from that. And that's why it's on my list. So you guys can see this is going to be quite the journey. So practice making that statement, that, that little sentence. This is your first feeling message. And remember, Go back to the scenario. This sentence is to answer his question, how was your day?

Practice this for a few times so you can get the feel for it.