5 Steps to Speaking Love

SPEAK LOVE
The Art of Feminine Expression

Let’s be honest
. . you Know when you’ve said the wrong thing to a man.

Sometimes you know as soon as the words roll off your tongue, and other times you realize it later . . .
when he doesn’t call,
when he disappears,
from his other actions,
from how he speaks to you or
from the look on his face.

Maybe you wish you could take back what you said.

Maybe you wish you’d just said it differently because you spoke your truth.

Then there are times that you have no idea WHAT you said that may have caused his current behavior or response.

You may be leaning forward in your words . . .

 

LEANING FORWARD PUSHES HIM AWAY!!

Leaning Forward is the opposite of Leaning Back.

The words you use while Leaning forward are not warm or inviting.

Leaning forward words bite.

They sting.

They push,
shatter,
tear,
pull,
smash and
stomp
the man and the delicate male ego!

He feels wrong or embarrassed.
He feels defensive or dismissive.
He feels disregarded or disrespected.
He doesn’t feel connected.
He feels that he doesn’t make you happy.
He feels that he can never make you happy.
He moves away, or plots some kind of move.
He wants to be somewhere he’s appreciated.

THIS CAN BE AVOIDED . . .

First is timing.

Ask yourself, is this the right time for this conversation?
How am I feeling at this very moment?
Where am I feeling all of this in my body?

Second – Fight the urge!

If you’re fighting urges to say certain things or to start a particular conversation, then you’re stuck in masculine mode. You’re stuck leaning forward. Lean back right now!

Third – Start with good feeling words.

Tell him what you’re feeling, the whole mixture, starting with the good feelings, of course.

{As to the not so good feelings . . . The actual urge you’re fighting . . . Pause (stop) and Process Your Feelings . . . then tell him “I’d like to talk about this feeling with you, is now a good time?” If he says no, then ask for an appointment to talk.}

Fourth – Get deep into your feelings.

You may feel urgent, you may think what you have to say is urgent, but the words that roll out of your mouth should not be shaped by that urgent feeling/thought.

Get out of your head. Don’t let your thoughts control your words.

Instead, slide down out of your head into your body where your feelings are.

 

Fifth – Sometimes Silence.

Once you’re into your feelings, you may find that you’ve NOTHING TO SAY. That’s okay.

This is often when you’re able to get emotionally UNSTUCK.

Meaning, you’re feeling instead reacting.

You KNOW what’s going on inside of you (and maybe just need to accept it).

This silence AVOIDS using leaning forward words.

 

SPEAK LOVE

What to say to him . . . 
Start with something soft.
Start with something warm
Start with something positive.
Start with a compliment.
Start with appreciation.

I feel so ________ when you _________.
or
I just love it when you _________, it makes me feel so __________.

Happy
Good
Cozy
Sexy
Bubbly
Heard
Seen
Felt
Warm
Lovely
Glowing
Wanted

Then move deeper into what else you’re feeling.

And at the same time, I’ve been feeling _______ lately.
or
I’ve been feeling ________ after __________.

Confused
Nervous
Sad
Conflicted
Invisible
Urgent
Unhappy
Mad
Weird

Now share how it feels to feel this way.

“I don’t like how this feels.”

 

#whattosaytohim

 

Finally, you’ll ask him if “this is a good time to talk about it,” or ask for an appointment to talk about it.

 

If you’re not familiar with speaking from your feelings, or if you’re out of practice, then sign up for the Academy where I walk you through actual scripts and practice speaking your feelings

Love,

Tatia

 

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