When A Man Steps Up

Today’s coaching video is about recognizing the difference between when a man Steps up and when he’s merely pursuing you.

Here’s a feminine approach to handling a man who’s not taking action to move the relationship forward with you or just engaging in a chase.

Let’s explore a man’s deep rooted desire for a more serious relationship:


Key Points to Remember about a man stepping up:

A man can pursue (chase) you and be lukewarm to having a real relationship with you.

He can pursue you when he wants a booty call, arm candy and when he sees someone else interested in you.  [*If he honestly steps up after you’ve met someone new, and you’re trying to choose because they’re both competing for your time, then there comes a point where you have to do what your heart is telling you feels right. There’s a strong likelihood that he’ll LINGER, meaning he’ll turn up the heat on pursuing you just to get rid of the new man.]


Your Role: Rule # 1 – YOU CANNOT MAKE A MAN STEP UP.  That movitation is on him. It’s in his heart.  A man stepping up letting you know (and confirming) you’re the one, he wants to be with and he wants a relationship with you is totally within his control.

Johnny-come-lately: Sometimes a man steps up when he realizes he’s about to lose you or that you’re genuinely interested in someone else.  When you find yourself in the situation where a man is lukewarm to a relationship with you, but then you become interested in a new person,  let the natural course occur where you’re less available and spending less time with the original man.  If he asks you directly “hey what’s going on with you?” or if he sees you with the new man, then let him know

“It doesn’t seem that we’re on the same page.
I want a serious relationship/committed relationship/marriage (pick one).
I’ve met someone who wants to have this type of relationship with me.
So I’m going to take this opportunity.
I don’t want to waste your time.”

You want to be honest and brief in this situation.


The New Man:  Rule # 2 – NO LINGERING BAGGAGE! How you start something is how it will be. Do not spend time or energy (physically, mentally or emotionally) with the prior man!  Push him further out of your Circle of Interaction.  To be clear, you’re not communicating with him, taking those phone calls, responding to the text messages and you’re not scheduling time with him.

Allow the new man the space, time and opportunity to Step up and show that he’s really into you.  Please, do not cloud this situation with having to explain or discuss a lingering situation with the prior man.  If necessary, the most you want to say about the prior man is

“At first it seemed we were equally interested in each other, but it turned out we’re not on the same page.
He was not into having a relationship and I did not want to waste my time.
He’s not important to  me.”

That’s it. No long explain-y descriptions about prior relationships or prior dating.

If you want more guided help, then schedule a 90 minute coaching session with me or join the ACADEMY for an online webinar coaching experience

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