Why He Needs Relationship Space

The reason a man needs Relationship Space is a masculine phenomenon that has very little to do with you.  Think Testosterone, literally!

Just like Leaning Back keeps you from losing yourself in a man (or the relationship), his “man caving” or spending time away from you keeps him from losing his masculine edge (even though he enjoys the emotions, connection and closeness when he is with you).

Dr. John Gray confirms that he needs this time away from you to reconnect to his masculine energy.


So, for feminine energy women, Relationship Space is about how to maintain YOUR balance when he man-caves.

Leaning Back is how you avoid ever having to look or feel like the woman in this photo when your man needs relationship space – it’s the best solution for the Man Cave Situation.

Even though we understand this fact, it’s still confusing when a man suddenly pulls away after being close.

We’ve all experienced it before.

You’ve had a wonderful time together.

There was intimacy or a closeness that felt wonderful.

And just when you expect a continuation of that feeling . . .



He pulls away,

He doesn’t call,

He doesn’t come by,

He becomes busy,

He makes plans without you or,

He withdraws into another place or room.

For some women, this is beyond confusing . . . it’s infuriating.

It can sometimes feels like rejection.


But, depending on the type of guy he is, there’s no harm in his needing this space to adjust physiologically – finding his own balance between the need for emotional connection and his internal masculine experience.

Unfortunately, if you’re leaning forward, you’ll try to reestablish the closeness by clinging, calling, whining, complaining or starting an argument to confront him.

These are all leaning-forward reactions that do the opposite of draw him closer to you.


So how do you avoid that “panic” feeling and instead lean back and pick right back up with closeness and intimacy when he emerges from him man cave?

Give Him The Relationship Space He Needs and

1. Don’t take it personally – it’s not about you or a sign of rejection.

2. Consider your needs during this man cave period, keep your schedule and do things you enjoy.

3. Remind yourself that we all need time to unplug, regroup or regenerate – so use the time and space to renew as well.

4. Remember, you can’t control another person, you can only control yourself.

5. Practice being warm, soft and positive when he moves towards you again.

If you’re still absolutely upset (or there’s a boundary issue for you), then prepare a script to express how you feel.  Remember, don’t badger him or demand an explanation. Just express your honest feelings.

After taking this relationship space approach a few times, you should feel a slight difference.

His man caving won’t feel the same.

When he pulls away you won’t focus on him.

You’ll do the things you like rather than focus on the distance he’s created.

You’ll let him deal with the distance he’s created.

You may take that time to go out with friends, visit family or get a little extra “me time.”

You’ll begin to occupy your time doing things you enjoy going places without him.



You may decide that

  • the man caving doesn’t work for you
  •  you require a man who’s more sensative to your needs,
  • your time is valuable and
  • you feel like you keep stopping your life to wait for him reappear.

If so, then take this opportunity to reassess your options.

In all honesty, his man caving creates the space for another man to step up and move in closer . . . approaching you for a conversation or a date.  This can naturally happen if your man wants too much space too often. Check out the following video if you find yourself feeling this way.



Either way,

whether you find your own balance in leaning back in this relationship space or

whether you decide you’d prefer to open up your options . . .

He’ll emerge.

He’ll start calling again.

He’ll start being around.

He’ll lean in close.

The key is to
stay Leaning Back,
enjoy the connection with him,
share your honest feelings and
continue keeping your own schedule so that you feel less imbalanced if/when he man caves again.

Go Deeper into Relationship Space with the Relationship Space video series

or join the ACADEMY.




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