When you find yourself being aggressive, think RECEIVING. Ask yourself “what am I am receiving right now? Am I allowing myself to receive?”
Once you get into the habit of practicing receiving, then you’ll want to take the next step to focus on RESPONDING in a more feminine way. Check out the Feminine Power Tools to learn more about responding from your feminine energy.
I LOVED watching your internet lecture on Being irresistible! It made me think deeply about how I’ve been perceived by partners, how I’ve conducted relationships, and also how I am as a woman. I’m very upfront, not afraid to initiate (I know now – wrong!), and feel that I’m confident and outgoing…until I get into a relationship! Then I get needy, need to control, immediately lay down the law, all the while giving/caring/tending too much to men’s needs. Almost like trying to show them I’m good, that they should stick around because I’ll take care of their every need. And I make sure they know I’m tough, can handle things, look after myself AND so they LET me and start taking me for granted. Then my ugly temper raises it’s head and boom!!! I’m devastated after a mutual breakup with a younger guy who really loved me and treated me well, wanted to marry me, and helped me with my daughter and everyday life. I was scared he’d tire of me, find another younger woman so I cut loose before he could hurt me and I’ve ended up crying for 8 months. I’ve been lost, begging him, raging at him, accusing him of easily getting on with his life, saying that he didn’t mean anything he said… I hurt him and I’m not surprised that he’s now met someone else. I initially started researching how to get him back, but more and more I realised I needed to get ME back. I needed to process my feeling instead of projecting ‘I’m doing fine’ scenorios. So I’m working on that, on being grateful, being positive, finding what makes me happy (I don’t know yet), and enjoying the moment. Today, I leaned back for the first time in my life and guess what?? Every single man leaned in! I tried to soften and it worked! I took note of my feelings and highlighted the positive. Thank you for teaching me that. A life time of being self-sufficient and independent has made me hard so I have a lot of work to do – but I Will. My questions: does leaning back mean that men must initiate all conversation and contact with you? What if you need to express? Can I then ‘initiate’? Finally, most relationship coaches say to contact your ex after 30 days of no contact, in order to remind him about you and make it easier for him to reopen dialogue. From what I understand from leaning back, I shouldn’t do that?? Is that right? It’s about me, but what about the feeling of missing someone? Thank you again for this life changing, eye-opening revelation of reclaiming My feminine power. Much love, Christina
Hi Christina: Thank you for the beautiful email sharing your Leaning Back story! Totally awesome that you experienced how this tool works and that you are embracing your Feminine Power!
Here’s the key to Leaning Back when interacting with men . . . Receiving and Responding.
When you receive from him, you respond back.
You can respond with – your feminine words and/or – your feminine actions.
Let’s say you’re standing on line somewhere and a man looks at you and smiles at you. Your response could be to smile back and hold eye contact with him for 3-5 seconds. This way, you’ve responded to his smile and have made it clear that you’ve noticed him and you are gracing him with your gorgeous smile.
Now you can also do this even if he doesn’t smile at you first . . . YES, you start with a lovely smile while holding eye contact with him. He’s likely to approach and give you a greeting or start a conversation. Be ready for that with having your feeling messages ready. You can also use passion topics to respond.
If you’re already in contact with a man, you can respond to his call, his text, his email, his touch, etc. (you get the idea!)
As for contacting your ex, missing him is your YOUR issue, not his. Missing a man is focusing on him or the relationship you had.
Try this instead . . .
Focus on things that make you happy and make you feel good.
Delve into those things and indulge yourself in feeling good and pampering.
You’ll still miss him, and when you feel those feelings of loss or loneliness, get into the feeling, get deep into it, and then move on to do something that makes you happy or makes you feel good.
If you still keep thinking of him, then (1) say a positive prayer or affirmation sending him blessings and good wishes (2) say another prayer or affirmation for positive feelings, blessings and happiness FOR YOURSELF (3) think of three things you’re thankful for in your life right there in that minute (4) try to embrace and hold on to that feeling of grace and gratitude that you just experienced for about 5 minutes, and (5) if and when he contacts you, be open, warm, soft, vulnerable and responsive when he calls! Use feeling messages and speak from a genuine place. <3
These concepts are great, and my guy is definitely in need of warmth and femininity from me. He is a masculine guy for sure. Being in my feminine energy is extremely hard for me, and I have lost touch ( quite some time ago), with that part of me. I am a single mother of 4, and the father is not involved. It takes masculine energy to handle all of this, and work as an engineer, where I am the only female. I need help. I am going to start by listening to the free program, and then get the handbook. I am also on Siren Island, but have taken a hiatus from facebook. I couldn’t stop looking at his page and crying. My guy has asked for a break, not a break-up, as we both have some individual things that we need to address. We are long distance and the issues were tearing us apart. We agreed not to see other people, and don’t mind talking every now and then. We did not specify a time, but it seems everytime he contacts me, I fall apart. He seems very happy since we are no longer talking communicating every day, and that makes me really sad. So, I hope this will help me to become a better me, and be happy with myself because I don’t know what will happen with us, and I need to have something to be happy about.
The beauty of your Feminine Power is that there’s room for both your Feminine energy and your masculine energy!
The key is that your masculine energy functions OUTSIDE of your relationship and interaction with a man. Your Feminine energy functions everywhere . . . all the time 🙂
Thank you for sharing your story . . . I was excited for you that you have a chance to explore your own time and practice leaning back while the two of you are giving each other some space.
I invite you to try something new . . . Whenever you think of him, and how happy he seems with this new arrangement, try to shift your focus from him and your relationship to something that really moves you, or something you deeply enjoy.
Are you going to stop LIVING because of this man? Are you no longer the beautiful, sexy, smart and desirable woman you were in the beginning? Isn’t she still there? Girl, this is your time to SHINE! You can go out in world each day and BE FEMININE. Practice your leaning back words and actions with everyone you meet. I see this as your LEANING BACK BOOTCAMP time! (Bootcamp . . . Fired up!)
Focus on YOUR happiness. Focus on YOUR beauty Focus on YOUR inner strength
If speaking with him makes you feel sad, then cut the conversation short and get back to YOUR thing.
I don’t know how to not be aggressive in life.
Hi Juanita:
When you find yourself being aggressive, think RECEIVING.
Ask yourself “what am I am receiving right now? Am I allowing myself to receive?”
Once you get into the habit of practicing receiving, then you’ll want to take the next step to focus on RESPONDING in a more feminine way.
Check out the Feminine Power Tools to learn more about responding from your feminine energy.
Love,
Tatia
I LOVED watching your internet lecture on Being irresistible! It made me think deeply about how I’ve been perceived by partners, how I’ve conducted relationships, and also how I am as a woman.
I’m very upfront, not afraid to initiate (I know now – wrong!), and feel that I’m confident and outgoing…until I get into a relationship! Then I get needy, need to control, immediately lay down the law, all the while giving/caring/tending too much to men’s needs. Almost like trying to show them I’m good, that they should stick around because I’ll take care of their every need. And I make sure they know I’m tough, can handle things, look after myself AND so they LET me and start taking me for granted. Then my ugly temper raises it’s head and boom!!!
I’m devastated after a mutual breakup with a younger guy who really loved me and treated me well, wanted to marry me, and helped me with my daughter and everyday life. I was scared he’d tire of me, find another younger woman so I cut loose before he could hurt me and I’ve ended up crying for 8 months. I’ve been lost, begging him, raging at him, accusing him of easily getting on with his life, saying that he didn’t mean anything he said… I hurt him and I’m not surprised that he’s now met someone else.
I initially started researching how to get him back, but more and more I realised I needed to get ME back. I needed to process my feeling instead of projecting ‘I’m doing fine’ scenorios. So I’m working on that, on being grateful, being positive, finding what makes me happy (I don’t know yet), and enjoying the moment. Today, I leaned back for the first time in my life and guess what?? Every single man leaned in! I tried to soften and it worked! I took note of my feelings and highlighted the positive. Thank you for teaching me that. A life time of being self-sufficient and independent has made me hard so I have a lot of work to do – but I Will.
My questions: does leaning back mean that men must initiate all conversation and contact with you? What if you need to express? Can I then ‘initiate’?
Finally, most relationship coaches say to contact your ex after 30 days of no contact, in order to remind him about you and make it easier for him to reopen dialogue. From what I understand from leaning back, I shouldn’t do that?? Is that right? It’s about me, but what about the feeling of missing someone?
Thank you again for this life changing, eye-opening revelation of reclaiming My feminine power. Much love, Christina
Hi Christina:
Thank you for the beautiful email sharing your Leaning Back story!
Totally awesome that you experienced how this tool works and that you are embracing your Feminine Power!
Here’s the key to Leaning Back when interacting with men . . . Receiving and Responding.
When you receive from him, you respond back.
You can respond with
– your feminine words and/or
– your feminine actions.
Let’s say you’re standing on line somewhere and a man looks at you and smiles at you.
Your response could be to smile back and hold eye contact with him for 3-5 seconds.
This way, you’ve responded to his smile and have made it clear that you’ve noticed him and you are gracing him with your gorgeous smile.
Now you can also do this even if he doesn’t smile at you first . . . YES, you start with a lovely smile while holding eye contact with him.
He’s likely to approach and give you a greeting or start a conversation.
Be ready for that with having your feeling messages ready.
You can also use passion topics to respond.
If you’re already in contact with a man, you can respond to his call, his text, his email, his touch, etc. (you get the idea!)
As for contacting your ex, missing him is your YOUR issue, not his.
Missing a man is focusing on him or the relationship you had.
Try this instead . . .
Focus on things that make you happy and make you feel good.
Delve into those things and indulge yourself in feeling good and pampering.
You’ll still miss him, and when you feel those feelings of loss or loneliness, get into the feeling, get deep into it, and then move on to do something that makes you happy or makes you feel good.
If you still keep thinking of him, then
(1) say a positive prayer or affirmation sending him blessings and good wishes
(2) say another prayer or affirmation for positive feelings, blessings and happiness FOR YOURSELF
(3) think of three things you’re thankful for in your life right there in that minute
(4) try to embrace and hold on to that feeling of grace and gratitude that you just experienced for about 5 minutes, and
(5) if and when he contacts you, be open, warm, soft, vulnerable and responsive when he calls! Use feeling messages and speak from a genuine place. <3
Hope that helps!
With Much Love,
Tatia
Thank you, Tatia ❤️ I truly appreciate your reply and your guidance.
Hi Christina:
It’s my honor to share this knowledge, grace and blessing with all women!
Love,
Tatia
Wow….beautiful interactions!
Hi Wizzy:
Yes, I agree!
The comments here have such a lovely vibe
(your’s included)!
Love ya!
Tatia
These concepts are great, and my guy is definitely in need of warmth and femininity from me. He is a masculine guy for sure. Being in my feminine energy is extremely hard for me, and I have lost touch ( quite some time ago), with that part of me. I am a single mother of 4, and the father is not involved. It takes masculine energy to handle all of this, and work as an engineer, where I am the only female. I need help. I am going to start by listening to the free program, and then get the handbook. I am also on Siren Island, but have taken a hiatus from facebook. I couldn’t stop looking at his page and crying. My guy has asked for a break, not a break-up, as we both have some individual things that we need to address. We are long distance and the issues were tearing us apart. We agreed not to see other people, and don’t mind talking every now and then. We did not specify a time, but it seems everytime he contacts me, I fall apart. He seems very happy since we are no longer talking communicating every day, and that makes me really sad. So, I hope this will help me to become a better me, and be happy with myself because I don’t know what will happen with us, and I need to have something to be happy about.
Hi Tommi:
The beauty of your Feminine Power is that there’s room for both your Feminine energy and your masculine energy!
The key is that your masculine energy functions OUTSIDE of your relationship and interaction with a man. Your Feminine energy functions everywhere . . . all the time 🙂
Thank you for sharing your story . . . I was excited for you that you have a chance to explore your own time and practice leaning back while the two of you are giving each other some space.
I invite you to try something new . . .
Whenever you think of him, and how happy he seems with this new arrangement, try to shift your focus from him and your relationship to something that really moves you, or something you deeply enjoy.
Are you going to stop LIVING because of this man?
Are you no longer the beautiful, sexy, smart and desirable woman you were in the beginning?
Isn’t she still there?
Girl, this is your time to SHINE!
You can go out in world each day and BE FEMININE.
Practice your leaning back words and actions with everyone you meet.
I see this as your LEANING BACK BOOTCAMP time!
(Bootcamp . . . Fired up!)
If speaking with him makes you feel sad, then cut the conversation short and get back to YOUR thing.
Tommi, this is YOUR time.
I’m feeling this!
I hope you are too.
Love,
Tatia