The Booty Call Rule

feminine woman booty call rule when he comes by for great sex

Dear Tatia:  

You have a rule for everything about men, what about a booty call rule? Do you have one of those?  I am in love with Greg.  I love his sex and I can’t resist him.  Everytime he comes here we have sex.  Everytime.  My friends say to stop giving him what he wants all the time (sex) because it will only stay a booty call and not turn into a love relationship.  Greg does not see other women.  It’s been 5 months with us now.  When he is not working or with his friends and family he is with me.  He lives at home with his family, takes me around his family and stays here with me often.  His mother said to be patient.  So I lean back and I don’t push him away.  I want him to move in but I want it to be his idea.  I am not worried about married stuff.  My dream is to live together as a couple and grow financially.   My dream is to have someone (hopefully Greg) to share the cost of living so we can save together for a future.  I open up, I am soft, I am inviting and I’m good in bed.  He says he loves me all the time (especially in bed), but he never talks about the future beyond what we are doing the next weekend.  I don’t feel like I am booty call but my bff says that’s how it looks to everyone.  Should there be a booty call rule here?  Should I limit his time here so I can date other men looking for a future?  How do I get him to move in and contribute?  Am I leaning forward?  Gregsgirl

 

Dear Gregsgirl:

You said two very important things in your email

. . . “I love his sex and I can’t resist him” and “I don’t feel like a booty call.”

This tells me that you are a very sensual woman!

Please Don’t beat yourself up, begin to doubt yourself or feel bad because you want and have a delicious sensual life!

 

Just for you, here’s The Booty Call Rule:

1.  Only do what feels good to you

2.  Don’t ever use sex as a weapon against a man

3.  Stay in your feelings (don’t get stuck in your thoughts)

 

Getting him to move in and it being his idea:

Give him his own space at your place if at all possible.

You start with a drawer and space in a closet.

A stand or table to plug in his electronics, keep his keys, watch, etc.

Make space for him in your bathroom also

(and don’t go through his stuff).

All you have to do is say “here, this is for you” and then quickly walk out of the room.

 

Make your home clutter free and your bedroom strictly for romance.

Keep the family photos out of the bedroom.

Make the bedroom, neat, inviting and all about love.

 

Is there a part of the home where he can go when he needs a  minute to himself?

Notice where he gravitates to.

Is he drawn to the TV to watch sports or movies?

Does he prefer the kitchen or dining room table?

Then clear that space up and let him get comfortable there.

If he puts the remote in a certain place, then leave it just how he put it.

Let him claim his space.

 

Keep prepared and ready to eat food in the fridge (tupperware is perfect for this).

Keep at least one or two bottles of his favorite beverage in there too.

You want him to be able to serve himself, grab a quick snack or drink.

Rori Raye suggests cooking cinnamon buns when he’s there . . .

It works!!! (yes, I’ve successfully tried this, and have experimented with other goodies too)

The idea is for him to feel comfortable,  free and “at home” in your place.

 

The Financial Issue:

Sounds like you’re very financially aware – good for you!

Here’s an idea to try . . .

Keep your bills in a neat pile next to your computer or on your desk.

Create a master budget and keep it in this pile.

Create a weekly/monthly grocery list and keep it on top of the pile.

 

Even if you pay your bills on line,

pick a time weekly

(when he’s there)

to quickly (5 minutes at the most) go through this pile and pay a bill, look at your budget or on line bank account.

 

When your mail comes, separate your bills and invoices from the other mail

and add it to your pile.

This will get him accustomed to the idea

that you manage your finances regularly

and that you keep these money matters organized.

 

This is like the process when he begins to recognize your bed time ritual!

Point is, he needs to see it as part of your household practice.

 

Note:  This is not a cue to ask him to pay your bills!

That would be leaning forward!

This is a way for him to see (if he wants to look) what it costs to run your household

But more importantly, to see you going through that process of managing your finances.

In order to eventually contribute, he should first be familiar with the idea that paying your bills is important to you.

 

Talk About Your Savings Dream:

Are you saving for a new car, a dream vacation, a bigger place, advanced education or new furniture?

Is this a passion of yours?

If so, then share it with him!

No need to go into the details other than what you want, how it makes you feel and that you’re saving for it.

 

Keep Leaning Back:

This may be uncharted territory for you and him.

He may or may not want to move in with you.

This is  something that you don’t know at this point.

So you need to keep leaning back, being inviting, soft and feminine!

Keep your focus on you and what you enjoy.

Make demands of yourself, not of him.

 

Circular Dating:

Interacting with men out in the world is always a good idea.

Remember, you get to choose whether you just notice, communicate with or spend time with the men who are interested in you.

It’s based on what you’re comfortable with.

The point is to practice your feminine power tools out in the world so that you’ve perfected them and know how to interact with the man you’re interested in.

This does not mean changing the time you spend with Greg unless that is what feels right to you.

As long as you make time for yourself and do the thing you enjoy, there may not be a need to alter your schedule with him.

 

What To Say To Him (Feeling Messages):

If you want to go even further, then put together some feeling messages about some of these issues.

If you want to go more in depth with your personal leaning back practices, then feel free to schedule a 90 minute coaching session with me.

Love,

Tatia

 

 

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2 Comments

  1. Brenna on April 19, 2018 at 10:43 pm

    This is an amazing article. Thank you so much for sharing your feminine radiance and talents with the world.

    • Tatia on April 27, 2018 at 11:51 pm

      Awwwww, Thank you Brenna! I’m glad you found this post helpful.
      Love,
      Tatia

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